


fate falls hard

by WeAreNotAlone



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Angst, Bow Is a Good Friend (She-Ra), Canon Continuation, Catra (She-Ra) Is a Tease, Catra (She-Ra) Needs a Hug, Catra is a Strategic Mastermind, Drama, Dumbass Adora, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Glimmer and Adora Share One Brain Cell, Hurt/Comfort, Lesbian Disaster Adora (She-Ra), Magicats, Post-Canon, Violence, War
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:14:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 25,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25806436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeAreNotAlone/pseuds/WeAreNotAlone
Summary: Post finaleEver since Adora shattered the sword and the runestone embedded within it, things had been different.  She was able to summon the power of She-Ra through sheer will, but at a cost.  No longer did the trauma of battle vanish when she transformed and every act of healing left her feeling drained and empty. Adora told no one.  Not her friends, not even Catra, knowing it would only upset them.One day while fighting Prime’s aimless clones and the bots under their command, her secret is discovered and her friends vow to save her.  They pack up and follow the only lead they have: Eternia.  What they will find there, none of them know, but shadows lurk around every corner and the evil they thought they defeated was only getting started:  Prime had no plans of staying dead.ORAdora keeps trying to heroically sacrifice herself and Catra is having none of that.
Relationships: Adora & Catra (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Bow & Glimmer (She-Ra), Bow/Glimmer (She-Ra)
Comments: 33
Kudos: 173





	1. truth or dare, the art of vulnerability

**Author's Note:**

> This first chapter is pretty much just fluff and fun. I hope you enjoy! PLEASE let me know what you think!

“Truth or dare?” Glimmer asked, her eyes alight with mischief.

“Really, Sparkles? What are we, twelve?” Catra asked, stretching out across Adora’s legs. Adora smiled down at her as she leaned back on her hands. After a long day of diplomacy, the Best Friend Squad was enjoying their night under the stars in the Bright Moon Gardens.

“What, afraid of a little truth or dare now?” Adora asked, tauntingly.

“No!” Catra replied, playfully grabbing Adora’s chin, “We’re just not kids anymore. We’re too old to play games.”

Bow gasped, clutching at his heart, “Too old to… play games? This is no game, Catra. This is the ultimate team bonding exercise!” He pumped a fist in the air, towards the stars. “Now that you are officially part of the Best Friend Quad Squad-”

“We’re not calling ourselves that,” Adora interjected.

“-we have to play. Sorry, I don’t make the rules.”

“Wait, there are rules?” Catra asked sitting up, “Like what?"

“Well,” Glimmer began, “The first rule is never leave a friend behind and always treat them how you would want to be treated.” Bow nodded earnestly in agreement and wrapped an arm around Glimmer’s shoulder. Catra shot an incredulous look at Adora who just shrugged before looking back at the pair on the other side of the fire.

“That… sounds like two rules.” Catra remarked, a smirk forming on her face. Bow’s brow creased as he did the math in his head before letting out a soft ‘oh yeah’.

“Stop trying to change the topic, Horde Scum,” Glimmer huffed, warming her hands by the fire, “We are _ doing  _ this. Now, truth or dare?”

Catra let out an exasperated sigh, “Truth. I guess.” Catra was never one to back down from a dare, but she was just too tired at the moment to go try and steal Mermista’s favorite pair of shoes off her feet, which she was certain Glimmer would have made her do. Plus, Adora was currently tracing patterns on her back with the tips of her fingers and there was no way she was going to interrupt that.

Glimmer rubbed her hands together like the evil mastermind she was as she contemplated her options.

“Go easy on her, Glimmer,” Bow said after a minute passed of the princess using every brain cell of hers to try and think of the most embarrassing question possible. She blew out a disappointed breath.

“Fine,” she grumbled, “Okay, Horde Scum. Have you ever kissed anyone? Other than Adora, I mean.” Catra’s eyes widened in surprise as her cheeks started to heat up. Her tail flicked anxiously. She was not expecting something so… personal. She had never discussed this with anyone, not even Adora. Granted, it had only been a week since they defeated Horde Prime and became exclusive, but still.

Was it embarrassing that she had never been with anyone other than Adora? She spent most of her life serving the Horde and they discouraged such relations, so surely she shouldn’t be embarrassed. After all, it wasn’t her fault she had no experience. Right?

Adora lightly bumped her shoulder into Catra, rousing her from her thoughts, “There’s no need to be embarrassed, Catra.” She placed a warm hand on Catra’s thigh, “Whether you have or haven’t, Bow, Glimmer, and I would never judge you. It's not even that big of a deal anyways.” Catra flashed Adora a grateful smile.

“Well…” Glimmer started, but Bow elbowed her in the ribs. “What? I was just kidding.”

There was another moment of silence before Catra broke it with a soft, “No, I haven’t.”

“Aww,” Bow said, getting teary eyed, “That is so cute!” Catra rolled her eyes and groaned. Glimmer joined in on the gag with Bow, teasing and taunting Catra about how adorable she was. Catra let out a disgusted groan.

“Your friends are lame,” she mumbled to Adora, burying her head into Adora’s warm shoulder and hugging her waist.

“You mean  _ our  _ friends,” Adora corrected, throwing an arm around Catra and hugging her to her side, “Besides, we both know you love it.” She did, secretly. But she would never let that secret slip, or she would never hear the end of it.

“See? There’s nothing you can’t share with us and there’s nothing to be shameful of,” Glimmer said. Then she patted Bow on the forearm, “Bow here has never kissed anyone other than me either.” Catra’s eyes narrowed at that comment, suspicious of the exclusion of her own name. She decided to voice her suspicions.

“But  _ you _ have?” Catra questioned. Adora stiffened beside her for a split second before relaxing again. Weird. Glimmer became a stuttering mess, and neither Bow nor Adora would meet her eye. Even weirder.

Catra’s ears flattened on her head as confusion and worry overtook her. Did she say something wrong? Maybe she had hurt someone Glimmer had been with. Or worse, maybe she had  _ killed  _ them. She supposed it was only a matter of time before she said the wrong thing, dug up old wounds. She always did. 

Catra knew she had to fix this, and fast.

“I am so sorry. I didn’t. I-” she stuttered. Her throat started to close up.  _ Why was it so hard to get the words out? _

“Catra, you have  _ nothing  _ to be sorry for,” Adora assured her quickly, hand tightening around her side, “You didn’t say anything wrong. It's just… uhhh… Glimmer, you want to answer the question?” Adora rubbed the back of her neck with her free hand and winced.

Glimmer choked on nothing. After almost hacking up a lung for a solid thirty seconds and Bow hiding his laughter behind a fist, she cleared her throat loudly. Her voice was hoarse when she spoke, “Okay, you got me. I have kissed someone else.”

Catra’s brow furrowed, looking between the three of them, her eyes narrowed in suspicion, “Why was that so hard to say? Who was it?”

“Itwasadora.” Glimmer coughed.

“What?”

Glimmer took a deep breath. It would probably be her last. No way Catra would let her live after she told her who it was. She opened her mouth to confess, but no words came out. She sat there gaping like a fish before Bow reluctantly came to her rescue.

“Glimmer and Adora… kissed? But it happened a long time ago.” he said with a grimace plastered on his face.

The silence was as long as it was scary. The quiet permeated the air with such intensity, they could have heard a feather drop. No one breathed. Even the fire seemed to die down. While the others worried about which one of them was going to face the business end of Catra’s claws, Catra herself was absorbing this incredibly unsettling news. 

Her first instinct was anger. She felt… betrayed and she wanted to lash out at the both of them, but if the last few years had taught her anything, it was that anger didn’t solve anything. 

Her second instinct was sadness, though jealousy wasn’t far behind.  _ Adora has been with someone else- and Glimmer of all people. What if I’m not as good as her?  _ The doubts crept in at an alarming rate and threatened to overwhelm her. Catra could feel her eyes watering. She wasn’t good enough. Never has been. Never will be. She had caused so much pain, hurt so many people. How could anyone want her still? 

Catra shook her head.  _ No that’s ridiculous. Adora chose me. She chose  _ me. Catra shrugged off her insecurities, albeit with some difficulty. She trusted Adora and what they had between them. If they were going to work, she had to.

“Well,” Catra finally said, breaking the uncomfortable silence. Her voice was low and steady, each word carefully chosen, “That’s not… ideal. But I am not angry.”

Both Glimmer and Adora looked at eachother, tentatively confused, then at Catra.

“You’re not?” they asked in unison.

“No-” She tightened her grip around Adora’s waist, draping her tail possessively over her lap, “As long as it never happens again.” Catra meant it as a joke, but she was only half kidding. Adora’s cheeks heated up at the way Catra clung to her and her stomach filled with butterflies.

“Trust me, it won’t,” Glimmer chuckled nervously.

“Yeah, don’t worry Catra. Adora-” Bow started, but then he glanced at the blonde, “Uh, Adora are you okay? You look like you’re going to be sick.”

“Okay, everyone,” Adora said, and everyone’s attention was on her. “I have a confession to make. I may have… possibly, maybe, also kissed Perfuma.”

“What?!” the three of them yelled. Glimmer and Bow busted out laughing, holding onto each other for support. They were besides themselves in a state of hysterics. Adora buried her face in her hands. Catra released her tight hold on Adora and looked at her quizzically. Did she make out with all the princesses? That idea was becoming less and less far-fetched as the night went on.

“Really?” Catra asked.

“Yeah…” Adora muttered into her hands. She rubbed her cheeks before dropping them into her lap, “Perfuma might have stolen me away and laid one on me when I first visited Plumeria, you know as She-Ra, to help against the Horde. She wanted to, uh,  _ go all the way. _ But other than those two times? Nothing.” Adora finished the sentence with finality as she looked at Catra.

Bow and Glimmer had barely gotten over their first round of hysterics before they plunged into a second one at Adora’s continued confession. They fell back on the well worn grass, clutching at their stomachs, intoxicated with laughter. It would have been a welcome sound to Adora’s ears if she knew it wasn’t at her expense.

Catra just pinched the bridge of her nose, “Could you guys not act like morons for two seconds?”

“I’m sorry,” Bow said, in between breaths, “I just can't believe Adora never told us this!” He was still clutching at his abs. Though Catra herself was slightly amused, she secretly hoped that both of them would be sore tomorrow as a little payback for all the teasing they inflicted on her and Adora.

“Yeah,” Adora said flatly, “Neither can I.” She folded her arms about her chest. Glimmer noticed her pouting, “Oh, come on, Adora. You said it yourself, there’s no reason to feel embarrassed.”

“I am  _ not _ embarrassed! I just- It's- I-  _ you- _ ugh!” Adora stammered. She sucked in a deep breath before clumsily getting to her feet and furiously brushing off her pants, though there was nothing on them. She raised a finger and was silent for a moment before saying, “I’m hungry. Goodnight.” Bow and Glimmer snorted behind their hands. Even Catra cracked a smile at what a dumbass Adora was.  _ My dumbass _ , Catra thought.

Adora locked eyes with Catra and offered her a hand, silently pleading with her to come with. Catra slipped her hand into Adora’s and gracefully stood up. Adora stomped away, heated and thoroughly flustered, with Catra in tow.

“You two make sure to get plenty of sleep! We have our first mission tomorrow!” Bow called after them, cheer evident in his voice.

Adora turned on her heel and pointed an accusing finger back at him.

“Your games suck, Bow!” she yelled. He wasn’t even the one to suggest truth or dare but it was all she could come up with. Catra laughed, grabbing Adora’s upper arm and pulling her back towards the castle.

“Calm down, dummy. I’m the one supposed to be yelling at them, not you.” Catra said, brushing her lips against Adora’s cheek as they entered the castle halls. Adora shivered at the touch.

“I know,” she admitted, “but they can be so infuriating sometimes.”

“Now that’s something we can both agree on.” Catra said, tracing her nails down the fabric of Adora’s sleeve before taking her hand.

They walked in comfortable silence, Adora’s footsteps echoing through the halls while Catra trekked softly next to her. 

Catra took this moment of peace to take in how lucky she was. After everything, all the times she fought against Adora, hurt her friends, hurt  _ her,  _ Adora still welcomed her back with open arms. __ They had been on opposite sides for so long, by the time Catra finally decided to do the right thing, she was certain Adora could never forgive her. Never love her. But of course Adora did. That’s just who she was. She never gave up on anyone. It was both the reason Catra loved her so much and her most fatal vice.

Once they reached the kitchen, Catra expected Adora to make a break for the pantry and gulf down everything in sight, but she instead turned to her in the doorway and took her hands. Catra looked up at her questioningly.

“You're not mad at me right?” Adora asked, searching Catra’s eyes.

“For what?”

“For.. doing, you know… with Gimmer and Perfuma.” Oh, that. Catra had been trying to block out that information.

Catra let out a long sigh not meeting her eye, “Well, I mean I wanted to be. The old me would have been. But it doesn’t really matter… as long as you love me here and now.” She kept her heterochromatic eyes on their joined hands until Adora let go of them and brushed her knuckles along Catra’s cheek, her touch lighter than a feather.

“I do. I love you so much,” Adora breathed, pressing her forehead against Catra’s.

“Say it again.” Catra whispered. She didn’t even care how needy it sounded.

Adora’s hands slid to the small of Catra’s back as she kissed her forehead, “I love you.” Then she kissed her nose, “I love you.” Then each of her cheeks, repeating the phrase again and again until it played in her head on repeat.

“Adora,” Catra laughed, tangling her hands in Adora’s hair. Her kisses left a trail of fire in their wake as Adora made her way further down. Catra’s eyes shot wide open and her breath hitched in her throat when Adora bent down to kiss her collarbone. She let out a soft whine and, without thinking, threw her head back, exposing her delicate neck for more. 

It went against everything she had ever been taught in the Horde; never show weakness, never leave yourself vulnerable. But at the moment, all she could think about was Adora’s hot breath lingering on her fur, her strong hands pulling her closer, and the quickening beat of Adora’s heart, proving that she was enjoying this just as much as she was.

Adora kissed her feverishly, her nose dragging up the column of her neck before peppering kisses under her jaw. It woke something inside Catra that she has never felt before, an urge that was indescribable. All she knew was that she wanted-  _ needed _ \- Adora. All of her. In every way possible. Of course, the moment Catra came to this realization, Adora stopped her advances and she internally groaned.

“Is that proof enough for you?” Adora said, breathless. She flashed that goofy smile of hers. 

Catra smirked back at her, “You missed a spot.” Adora looked at her, confusion clearly written on her face.

“What do you-” Catra cupped Adora’s chin, her claws lightly tracing her jaw and capturing her lips with her own. Adora let out a surprised groan and Catra couldn’t help but smile into the kiss. 

After the initial shock had passed, Adora kissed her back with fervor, plunging them both backwards until Catra’s hips connected with something hard and metal. Adora’s hands slid down to Catra’s strong thighs and picked her up, lifting her onto the counter behind her. Catra couldn’t stifle the soft moan that escaped her lips as she marveled at the intimacy of it all. She and Adora had never been like this before, so full of fervent want and need.

All the while, Adora’s lips were insistent upon Catra’s own, begging for entry. She had never given her permission. She couldn’t. She was always, always aware of her sharp canines and her rough tongue. It would either hurt Adora or disgust her, of that much she was certain now more than ever. It would be nothing like Glimmer or Perfuma, who probably both had perfect lips, smooth teeth, and soft tongues. Catra pulled away from the kiss.

Adora quickly retreated, her grip on Catra’s hips loosening, her brow etched in concern, “Is everything okay? Did I overstep?”

“No! No. It's… not you.” she finished weakly.

“Oh, the old ‘it's not you, it's me’ gag, right?” Adora said, rolling her eyes dramatically. A ghost of a smile flickered on Catra’s lips, but it was gone faster than it appeared. Adora frowned.

“Come on, you can tell me what’s wrong. You can tell me anything. We just have to communicate, okay?” Adora said, placing her hands on Catra’s shoulders, “Otherwise I’m just going to assume it's my fault.” Catra glared at her before letting out a heavy sigh. 

“I don’t want to hurt you or… drive you away,” Catra spoke in a small voice, gritting her teeth in the process. Actually trying to get the words out was like trying to pry Bow from his bow: impossible.

“How would you do that?” Adora asked, trying to meet her eye. She wouldn’t.

“I- we both know I’m not entirely human. I have… sharp canines, and… my tongue is...coarse.” Catra’s whole body heated with embarrassment and shame. Why was it so hard to talk about it? “I can’t stand to have you disgusted by me. I’m not like Glimmer or Perfuma or whoever else you’ve been with. I’m-”

“Catra.” Adora snuck a finger under her chin and tilted Catra’s head up to meet her gaze, “I don’t care about that stuff. I don’t want you to be like Glimmer or Perfuma. I want  _ you. _ All of you. Or, uh, at least all of what you’ll give to me. I’m not trying to be possessive or domineering or anything.” Adora finished with a nervous laugh, her confidence fleeing at a rapid pace. Catra finally smiled, her heart swelling with love for the girl standing before her.

“What if I want you to be?”

“What, possessive and domineering?”

Catra gave her a knowing look.

“For you, anything.” Adora breathed. Catra liked the sound of that. 

Adora advanced on her with newfound confidence, lips crashing into her at a bruising pace, nowhere near innocent. It was hot, fiery, passionate, and most of all, demanding. Catra held Adora’s face in her hands, pulling her closer. Adora’s tongue swiped against her bottom lip, once again, asking for entry. This time Catra obliged.

Ever so slowly, she opened her mouth, encouraging Adora to deepen the kiss. If she wanted to. Adora wasted no time in seizing the opportunity.

“Careful,” Catra’s breathless voice reminded her.

“Always am.”  _ No you’re not,  _ is what Catra wanted to say, but she just couldn’t bring herself to break away from the heavenly feel of Adora’s lips on hers a second time. The rest of the world slowly began to melt away as Adora tentatively explored her mouth.

Finally, Adora’s tongue swiped over Catra’s, one smooth stroke against the coarse expanse of her own. It was a blessing that Catra was sitting down, because she felt her knees go weak. Adora’s body jolted at the sensation, her hands finding Catra’s hips and her fingers digging into the supple flesh as she moaned into her mouth. Catra heard her heart rate spike, the thrumming of her pulse loud and heavy on her sensitive ears. It only served to drive her further into oblivion. She instinctively hooked a leg around Adora’s waist, using her heel to urge Adora’s hips further into her own.

“Catra! Adora! We- Ahhh!” Glimmer’s voice shocked them both out of their stupor as she appeared in the doorway. Adora jumped out of her skin and slipped on nothing, falling to the floor with her own scream.

“Is everyone okay?” Bow’s fast approaching voice called from down the hallway. He appeared next to Glimmer in a matter of seconds, out of breath with his hands on his knees.

“Don’t look Bow!” Glimmer said, placing a hand over his eyes, “Our friends were being  _ indecent _ .” He swatted her hand away.

“They look fine to me,” he said. “Adora, why are you on the floor?”

Finally, taking stock of the situation, Adora jumped to her feet, “No reason. Just doing a thorough floor inspection. Can never be too careful with… the floors.” Catra tried to hide the laugh bubbling up in her throat. 

“Really?” Bow asked, astonished, “There are floor inspections here?” 

Glimmer slapped her forehead. “No, there aren’t. Adora was just trying to cover up- and poorly, might I add- the fact that the two of them were  _ kissing  _ on the Royal Food Prepping Counter.”

“Uh, Glimmer? That’s not a thing.” Bow remarked, laying a hand on her shoulder.

“Yes it is.”

“Actually, I’m pretty sure it’s not.”

“Well,  _ actually _ -”

“Okay, Sparkles,” Catra intervened, casually throwing her leg up on the counter and slinging an arm around it, “We were kind of in the middle of something here, so could you, I don’t know, maybe give us the room?”

Glimmer’s mouth fell open in bewilderment. She pointed a finger in Catra’s direction, her mouth opening and closing a couple of times, no doubt searching for a good comeback. She must not have found one because she quickly directed her gaze onto Adora and said, “Go to your room!”

Adora, dazed and mortified at being caught, muttered a defeated ‘okay’ and started walking towards the exit. Catra grabbed her by her shirt and pulled her back to her side.

“Are you okay, Sparkles? You seemed all worked up about nothing.”

“She’s got a point, Glimmer.” Bow added.

“I’m fine! You-” Glimmer took a deep breath, clasping her hands together in front of her face. Then in a softer, calmer voice, “Okay, I’ll admit it's been a long day and I overreacted. But I would really appreciate it if you didn't use my kitchen for your various  _ escapades _ .” Adora’s face burned at the way she said it.

“Fair enough,” Catra said.

“Awww, you got through your first friend fight! I’m so proud of you both,” Bow said, teary eyed. He dragged Glimmer over to where Catra was sitting on the counter.

“No, no, no. No hugs!” Catra squealed, but it was too late. He crushed the two of them together in his arms. Adora joined in, laughing. Catra let out a frustrated growl. When Bow finally let go, Catra retreated behind Adora and slipped an arm around her waist, just in case he tried something like that a second time. Bow mentioned again how cute she was as he took Glimmer’s hand.

“Are you guys going to go to bed? We were heading that way too, I could teleport us there.” Glimmer offered. Catra rested her chin on Adora’s shoulder.

“No, Adora still needs to grab something to eat.”

“Oh, I’m sure she’s had plenty,” Glimmer retorted, raising her eyebrows suggestively. Long after they had left, Bow’s laugh continued to echo through the hallway, a haunting reminder of their shredded dignity.

“You know,” Adora said, turning in Catra’s embrace to face her, “I’m not even hungry anymore.”


	2. in the forest, a job gone wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crew-Ra tracks down a herd of Prime's clones. It ends just as one would expect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lowkey, my neighborhood was just hit by a tornado... felled trees, ripped up house, no power. Ya girl had to write this down on PAPER by CANDLELIGHT before transferring it to a google docs. It felt like I was living in the middle ages. Wherest thou is my bitch ass wifi? Squire, bring it to me posthaste.
> 
> Anyways, here is chapter 2! Please let me know if you like it and thank you to those who comment!
> 
> Its going to get juicy guys...

“Catra!” Adora called out into the dark. She stumbled through the inky blackness, screaming her name. “Catra!” she tried again, her throat burning from the effort. She received no response. Something wasn’t right. She fell into an aimless sprint, stumbling recklessly through the murky shadows that consumed everything.

As time stretched into eternity, the anxiety expanded in her chest, eventually beginning to climb up her throat, making it hard to breathe. Adora didn’t know why it was suddenly impossible to think straight or why she felt that she needed to escape, she needed to escape, she needed to escape. The moments stretched on forever. All she could see was a bleak landscape without edges.

“Adora,” A haunting voice called out from behind her. She spun around and immediately, she was bathed in light as if a million dying stars had simultaneously exploded in front of her. She fell to her knees, crippled and blinded by the intrusion. She rubbed the palms of her hands against her sockets, urging them to adjust. They watered profusely as she tried to force them open.

_ Wait _ . Adora reached out a tentative hand and touched the floor beneath her. She would know this metal anywhere; it’s heft, the abrasive aluminum glow that seemed to blind anyone who looked upon it too long. She had been here before.

It was Horde Prime’s ship.

“No,” Adora gasped.

“Oh, yes,” the voice spoke again. Adora looked up to find Horde Prime in all his glory, towering above her with a ruthless smile plastered on his face. Suddenly, she didn’t want to see. Adora shook her head viciously from side to side, fingers digging into her scalp.

“No.  _ No.  _ You’re not real. I defeated you. You’re gone! Dead!” Adora shouted, eyes squeezed shut. A menacing laugh erupted from the back of his throat, a howling display of his confidence. He bent down, placing a single finger under her chin and jerked her head up to face him.

“Foolish child,” he snarled, “You cannot kill a god. I am eternal. I am creation’s shadow, and your sins shall be laid bare.” Prime bared his teeth in a smile that held no warmth, no kindness. He stepped away from Adora’s crumpled form. 

“You’re not real,” Adora said weakly, though it sounded more like she was trying to convince herself. “You can’t hurt me.”

Prime’s mouth twisted into a sinister smile, “Oh, I have no plans for hurting you. Your  _ Catra _ , on the other hand, will suffer egregiously for your wickedness. Come here, little sister.”

Catra walked out of the shadowed doorway behind Prime, hands bound and escorted by a clone. 

When Catra spotted Adora, she cried out her name.

“Adora!” Catra wretched free of the clone and tried to run to her, but Prime stopped her from ever getting close.

Prime placed his hand on the back of her neck, squeezing. Catra’s face screwed up in agony as he dug his fingers into her throat.

She cried out again, but this time in a broken, pleading voice, “...Adora.” Her body trembled under his touch. 

Rage filled Adora. Rage and fear. It was a swirling, swelling clash of emotion rising up within her, the anger heating her like a furnace from the ground up, and the fear numbing her with its chill as it spilled down her spine.

“Catra,” Adora choked out. "I'm going to get you out of this. I promise." The color drained out of Catra’s face . The vivid fear Adora felt became a knife turning in her stomach, slicing her open from the inside. 

No, no,  _ no _ . This couldn’t be happening. Not again. Not if she had any say in it. She had to get to Catra, had to save her. She tried to stand. Her legs gave out. She tried and tried again, each time feeling weaker as her body betrayed her every time. Horde Prime’s laugh was all consuming, sapping the strength and confidence from Adora like a parasite.

“You saved her once,  _ She-Ra _ . Let us see if you can repeat the past.” With that, Horde Prime dragged Catra to the edge, struggling all the while and screaming Adora’s name. Their eyes met for the briefest of moments. A defiant resolve fixed itself upon Catra’s face even as the tears slid down her cheeks. She knew no amount of struggle would reunite her with Adora. She resigned herself to her fate.

Prime held her over the edge for a moment, savoring the delicious terror that plagued Adora's features. 

“Such a waste,” he tutted. Then he released her. And she fell, and fell, and fell, all in deathly silence.

“Catra, no!” Adora screamed. The pure intensity of her scream ripped holes in her throat. 

This couldn’t be real. This was a dream. A  _ dream _ . So why couldn’t she wake up?  _ Wake up. Wake up! wake UP! _

Adora gasped awake, shooting up in bed and clutching at her sweaty chest, hands shaking furiously. The thunderous roar of her pulse swam in her ears.  _ Catra! Where- _ She turned to her side and saw her sleeping peacefully next to her. The tension in Adora’s body dissipated as she watched the steady rise and fall of Catra’s breast. Catra was safe. Adora let out a tremulous breath as she looked down at her shaky hands. She forced them into tight fists. Released them a moment later.  _ It was just a dream _ . 

Adora turned her gaze back on Catra, who, thankfully, was still blissfully ensnared in slumber. She didn’t want her worrying about something as insignificant as a bad dream, especially since it was so frivolous. 

When they shared a bed in the Horde, it was the other way around; Catra waking in a fit of cold sweat from nightmares of Shadow Weaver torturing her while Adora held her tight. But that was something real. They weren’t just nightmares, but memories and the ever present fear that it could happen again. And it always did. But this? This was just Adora’s mind coming up with impossible scenarios. Yes, it was rooted in reality, but Prime was dead. Her fear, her anxiety, her nightmares? They were based in a false sense of dread, an impossibility of the highest magnitude. She was glad she hadn’t woken her. It was stupid to have Catra fussing over her about something she needed to get over herself.

Adora reached out a hand and brushed her knuckles over Catra’s cheek softly. She watched as they flushed pink, and her lips parted ever so slightly. A soft exhale escaped them as she turned in the bed. A grin broke out on Adora’s face at the unexpected response. She so badly wanted to reach out and do it again, but was unwilling to wake her from her much needed sleep. After all those years of restless nights in the Horde, she had a lot of catching up to do.

Carefully, very carefully, Adora snuck out of bed, making sure not to jostle the mattress. She spared one last glance back at Catra before heading to the balcony. On the way, she stopped to pet Melog. Him, she had little qualms about waking up. Melog would just go right back to sleep and be none the wiser. 

On the first night, she had witnessed this firsthand. After spending hours clinging to a corner of the mattress, she decided that enough was enough. Both Catra and Melog hogged the bed like it was the most coveted treasure in the world. She came to the conclusion that there was room for only one cat in her bed. Her first thought was to just give Melog a good kick off the mattress; it was the easiest solution. However, Adora’s bleeding heart could never go through with it. She settled on a less violent approach. Through frustration and sleep deprivation, she managed to take a few of the extra blankets they had and make a little nest for him on the floor before she picked Melog up and placed him in his new bed. He barely stirred during the whole process. The very next day she made it her mission to get him his own place to sleep.

Next to the large pillars that held up the entrance to the balcony, was his own personal sleeping accommodation, made up of the finest cottons in Bright Moon and shrouded by pillows fluffy enough to suffocate you if you weren't careful. Adora was always wary of them.

“Hey Melog,” Adora whispered, running a hand over his head. He purred at her briefly, shifted positions, and then immediately fell back asleep. Typical.

Out on the balcony, she stared up at the stars. They illuminated the darkness with such intensity, that what was left of her fear crumbled to dust beneath her feet. All her past failures, Prime’s chilling words echoing in her mind- they now lingered at a distance. Adora’s gaze drifted among the millions of blazing lights illuminating the sky. She wanted to call them beautiful, but even that wouldn’t do them justice. This was something that couldn’t be described; there just weren’t the words for it. It could only be known by experience, by seeing their elegance in person. Of course, Adora knew they were only shiny glowing dots in the sky. So why were they so pretty? What made it different from anything else that glowed? Adora would probably never figure it out. Maybe it was the reality of it. The mystery. The whole universe was out there just waiting for her to discover it. For her to restore its magic. And maybe figure out what was happening to hers. 

She glanced back at Catra to make sure she was still sleeping before dragging up the side of her shirt. She felt along her ribs and hissed when her fingers slid over the wound tinged with green puss.

Back in the Heart of Etheria, when she was confronted by the First One’s beast, she had received a nasty gash from that thing. It wasn’t something Adora was initially concerned about- even after it appeared that She-Ra couldn’t heal it- because it was made to disrupt her power. But after they had defeated Horde Prime and everything had relatively settled down, she noticed nothing else was healing either. All the little knicks and bruises that came with the job remained, and worst of all? The lacerations dealt by Catra when she was under Horde Prime’s influence had endured with a conviction she could only call religious. 

Many times over the past few days, Catra had tried to slip a hand under her shirt while they kissed, or rub her back when they were drifting off to sleep and Adora had to find excuses to keep her at arms length. Catra hid it well, but Adora knew it hurt her. Made her feel… unwanted. But what was the other option? Letting her find the scars for herself? Or worse, just  _ telling  _ her outright about them? No, Adora would take this secret to her grave. Besides, in a couple of months everything would be healed and no one would have to know. Hopefully.

There was a ruffling of sheets and it drew Adora’s attention back to the room. She watched as Catra shifted in bed, her palm running over the mattress, unconsciously seeking out the warmth and comfort of Adora. When she did not find it, her eyes shot open, wide with alarm.

“Adora?” She called out, a rising panic evident in her voice. Before Adora had time to respond, Catra shot out of bed, darting on all fours to the middle of the room. Her eyes frantically searched about her before they landed on Adora. At the moment, Adora’s mind was working at half its capacity, and so instead of running over to Catra and asking ‘what’s wrong? Are you okay?’, she simply raised a hand and waved like an idiot. The panic that filled Catra was instantly replaced with irritation.

“What are you doing?” Catra asked, rising to her feet. Adora jabbed a thumb back in the direction of the balcony.

“Stars,” she replied, as if that explained everything. 

Catra rolled her eyes, “No, I mean what are you doing out of bed?” There was no way Adora was going to tell her about the nightmares. It was time to play ‘avoid the subject for as long as possible’.

“What, did you miss me?” Adora asked, a smug smile gracing her lips. A tired groan escaped Catra as she pinched the bridge of her nose.

“If I say yes,” she began, “Will you come back to bed?”

“Aww, you did miss me. That is so embarrassing for you.”

The continued taunts seemed to rouse Catra out of her early morning lethargy because she shot Adora an indecipherable look, then pounced.

“Wait, hold up-” Adora began, but it was too late. Catra tackled her, the force knocking them both to the floor. Adora bit her tongue to keep from crying out as the cuts on her back burned from the abrupt contact with the crystal floor below. 

Catra’s strong thighs gripped Adora’s waist, her hands pressed down on her shoulders. Catra smirked at the sight of Adora’s cheeks flushing. She bent down and let her lips brush against Adora’s ear.

“Who’s embarrassed now?” she purred. Then she trailed her tongue up the column of Adora’s neck. Adora visibly jumped at the pleasurable sensation it generated, the pain in her back long forgotten. Catra had never been so… forward. Well, at least not since last night.  _ What has gotten into her? _ Whatever it was, Adora was intrigued and she wanted more. She swallowed her bashfulness and put on an assertive front.

“What has gotten into you?” Adora asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” Catra said, nipping at her jaw.

There was a brisk knock on the door. Bow’s sing-song voice called out from behind the thick slab of marble, “Good morning!”

Catra let out a growl of frustration, letting her forehead fall against Adora’s, “Really? This early? Maybe if we don’t answer, he’ll leave us alone.”

Adora shook her head, “Not likely. Answer or no, Bow will be busting in here any minute with a rousing speech about the beauty of early mornings.” Catra blew out a disgruntled breath that drifted over Adora’s cheek. Adora suppressed a chuckle and craned her neck up to kiss Catra’s cheek. She let her lips linger, then gently swiped a thumb over where she 

“Ughhh. You’re such a sap,” Catra said, properly flustered. She buried her face into the crook of Adora’s neck.

“Yeah, but you love it,” Adora snorted. Catra growled at her, but it held no substance.

“Let’s just get this over with,” Catra said, getting to her feet gracefully before helping Adora up as well. Adora went to get the door, but Catra grabbed her arm.

“Hey,” She started, “Don’t think I didn’t notice you avoiding the question.” Adora forced a look of confusion.

“What question?”

***

“So what now?” Catra asked. After Bow’s untimely interruption, spending a near half hour trying to rouse Glimmer from her slumber, and a very quick breakfast, Glimmer had teleported them somewhere outside Thaymor in the Whispering Woods where yesterday’s scouts had last seen a small troop of clones.

“Well,” Bow started, “Prime’s clones were seen in the area with some of those bots. I figured we could use my tracker pad to approximate their location based on where they were last spotted- which was Thaymor- and using the most up to date average movement speed data from Entrapta. That coupled with the knowledge these clones purposefully target villages with-”

“Bow, the battlefield is no place for scholärs and their technolögy,” Adora said dramatically.

Bow shot her a doubtful look, “Fine, then what’s your plan?” 

“Draw them to us by making a lot of noise,” Adora stated simply. Her eyes lit up as an idea came to her. “Oh, and we could use one of those sonic arrows of yours to lure them here.”

“Really that’s your plan?” Catra said to Adora, her voice laced with equal parts concern and humor. “Seriously, how did I not defeat you guys?”

“Maybe Adora’s got a point,” Glimmer cut in walking to Adora’s side. “It could take awhile for your tracking thingy-”

“-Tracker pad,” Bow corrected.

“-to figure it all out. We need to find them before they strike again.” Glimmer smashed a fist into her hand as she finished talking. Adora nodded her agreement. She was glad  _ someone  _ was on her side.

Catra, always the voice of reason, sternly shook her head, “That plan is incredibly dangerous. It’s barely even a plan. We don’t know exactly how many there are. They could surround us.”

“Good,” Adora replied. “Then we can attack from all sides.” Glimmer high-fived Adora.

Bow just blinked at them. “Do you two share one brain cell?”

Adora rolled her eyes, “Come  _ on _ guys, we’ve got this.” Then she leveled her gaze on Catra. “Catra, back me up here.” 

“I'm with Bow on this one,” she said, stubbornly crossing her arms over her chest. Bow looked at her with profound admiration, placing a hand over his heart. Catra saw this and added, “And no, don’t even think about hugging me.”

Glimmer and Adora groaned, “Fineee. We’ll do it your way.” Glimmer was over it in a matter of seconds, rushing over to Bow and taking his arm as he once again pulled out his tracking pad. They began their trek through the forest, following the data as it began to process on Bow’s pad. Adora, still hung up on her loss, remained stationary and sulked.

It would have been so much easier to lure them to their location. Well, okay, maybe not easier, but at least she would at least be able to fight something. After they returned to Bright Moon, everything had become so monotonous, so boring. Wake up, eat, train, sleep, repeat. There was no variation in Adora’s life, nothing to keep her on her toes. At this point she was just itching for a fight, and honestly, who could blame her? Adora had been a soldier all her life, trained and bred for war by the Horde, by Shadow Weaver. What did she know of peace? How could anyone possibly expect her to manage that? Especially when it was so  _ boring. _

Catra saw her staring dejectedly at the ground.

“Hey,” she said, brushing her shoulder against Adora, “Don’t sweat it. We’ll go with your plan next time.” Catra flashed her a grin before curling her tail over Adora’s wrist. Adora couldn’t bring herself to remain upset. She smiled back at her.

They walked in relative silence for over an hour. Well, relative was a generous word. Bow and Glimmer talked and talked and talked about nothing at all and at some point, dragged Catra into it, telling her all about the time Adora accidentally turned their horse into a magnificent flying steed with a colorful mane and free will. Adora rubbed at her forehead sheepishly, but made no move to defend herself. Instead, she fell behind, the ache in her side growing with every step. She ghosted her hand over her side.  _ Ugh! It's been, like, a week and a half. Why is this not healing? Why- _

“Are you okay?” Catra’s voice interrupted her thoughts. Adora looked up. The three of them had stopped walking and were all staring at her with varying expressions of concern. She snatched her hand away from her side.  _ Play it cool, Adora. _

“Yeah. Why?” Adora said slowly.

“You've just been-” Catra started, then her ears flicked and her eyes narrowed in concentration.

“What-” Adora began but Catra shushed her, placing her fingers on Adora’s lips, still concentrating on the sound that no one but her could hear. Under different circumstances, Adora would have leaned into the touch and replaced those fingers with Catra’s lips without a moment’s hesitation- it was a much more efficient way to get Adora to shut up- but right now, Catra was not in a playful mood and Adora was certain there was a good reason for it. 

“Sparkles,” Catra whispered, jerking her head, motioning for them to come over to her. Glimmer nodded. Then Catra grabbed Adora by the front of her shirt and pulled her to the nearest cluster of bushes. Catra dropped to the ground and Adora wordlessly followed her movement. She plopped down by her side, shoulder to shoulder. Glimmer and Bow appeared next to her, looking less than content to be settled in the dirt with needle-like branches sticking them in the face.

Adora inspected Catra, watching her ears flick, her tail swishing restlessly, as she focused intently on the clearing beyond the bushes. She was really something when she was in reconnaissance mode, her attention so focused, so linear. Once her mind settled on an objective, she became a force of nature, a lithe creature of teeth and claws, a flash of fury that scared even Adora sometimes. Well, it would scare her if it weren’t so hot. 

Speaking of hot, the heat coming off Catra next to her was intense. Adora’s mouth set in a hard line.  _ She never runs this hot. I’m the furnace in this relationship.  _ Did she have a fever? Was she sick? She shouldn’t be out here if that’s the case.

Adora shifted her weight onto one forearm, bringing a hand up to Catra’s forehead. Catra swatted it away, her gaze breaking from the forest as she shot Adora a critical look. Adora scooted closer to Catra.

“Are you okay?” Adora breathed, “You feel feverish.”

“Really, right now?”

“You shouldn’t be out here if-”

Bow tapped Adora’s shoulder. She swivelled her head to face him. He pointed through the thicket at the far end of the clearing. She followed his line of sight, squinting at the far end of the field. 

There they were, the herd of Horde Prime soldiers. A couple of surveillance drones surveyed the area above while roughly half a dozen bots escorted three or four clones- it was hard for Adora to tell from so far away- as they marched out of the thicket on the other side of the field.

A shudder ran down Adora’s spine. She always hated the clones, but now… now that hatred was amplified with a healthy dose of fear mixed in. Every time she looked at them she was reminded of the horrors Catra had suffered under their hands, how her autonomy was taken away, how she was forced to be a slave for the Horde. As if that wasn’t bad enough, they bore Horde Prime’s face, and his was one that had haunted her every night since the Heart of Etheria. But he was gone. For good. These were just his cronies and they were scattered and leaderless. This would be a piece of cake.

Adora pushed herself to her knees. Bow and Catra grabbed her and pulled her back down.

“What are you doing?” Bow whispered.

“Attacking. They’re right there.” Adora made a move to get up again, but Catra tightened her grip on Adora’s arm.

“No,” Catra hissed. “I have a plan.” Adora pouted for a moment but conceded, plopping back down in the dirt.

“Remember, we need to take the clones  _ alive _ . Entrapta wants to rehabilitate them.” Glimmer noted.

“I know,” Catra said. Then she laid out her plan. It was simple and easy, which meant it would be hard to mess up. First, Glimmer would immobilize the surveillance drones as quietly as possible, teleporting them far away and disposing of them. Then Bow would shoot a net at the cluster of clones leading the march, ensnaring as many as possible before the scuffle began. Once it did, She-Ra and Catra would deal with the bots while Bow and Glimmer wrangled up the remaining clones. All in all, it was a sound plan.

The first part went off without a hitch with Glimmer smoothly taking out the drones swiftly and silently. When she returned to where the rest of them lay hidden, she was slightly flushed from the rush and panting with adrenaline. Now it was Bow’s turn.

Adora shot him a silent look of encouragement accompanied with a thumbs up. Bow grinned back before standing and knocking an arrow. The distance at which he had to shoot was daunting, but Adora had faith he could do it. Even if he couldn’t, She-Ra would be able to handle the chaos that would surely come after. Adora readied herself to pounce and Catra followed suit, digging their heels into the ground, prepared to charge.

Bow took a deep breath, steadied the sway of his arms. Adora was giddy with anticipation. She felt the rush of air as Bow released his arrow and she charged.

“For the Honor of Grayskull!” 

Power surged through her veins, a feeling Adora would never get used to. The all consuming force of raw energy that drove through her flooded her system, drowning out the throbbing pain in her side.

Catra got to them first, leaping with a ferocious growl, sinking her claws deep into the bot’s metal. She was wild in battle, ruthless and savage, but at the same time calculated. Adora loved watching her in the heat of the fight. As children in the Fright Zone, it was the only time she was able to watch Catra openly, the only time she could drink in the sight of her without having to worry about Shadow Weaver or anyone else catching on to how she really felt. The rest of their time together in the Horde, Adora was forced to live off of stolen glances as her gaze briefly drifted over her form, always wary of the watchful eyes of her superiors. But when they sparred in the training simulator? Adora didn’t have to restrain herself. Now she’d never have to again.

Adora ducked as a bot rushed her and swung at her head. She spun, whirling the blade around in an arc before plunging it deep into the bot’s shoulder, nearly slicing it in half. She ripped the blade from the hunk of metal as it fell to the ground with a heavy thud. A smile lit up Adora’s face as two more converged on her.

“Ha-ha! Come and get…” Her face fell as she looked down at her shaking hands.  _ What… is happening? _ She could feel the power slipping out of her as she glitched in and out of her She-Ra form. In the blink of an eye, her senses dulled, her limbs weakened, and the pain in her side came back with a roaring vengeance. 

She-Ra was gone.

“Adora!” Someone screamed. She couldn’t tell who, but it was enough to make her look up. Her eyes met with two pulsing arm cannons pointed at her, energy sizzling from the barrel, just begging to be let loose and end her life. Adora’s brain screamed at her to move. She didn’t.

“Adora!” Someone screamed again, this time much closer. The air rushed from her lungs as she was tackled out of harm’s way a fraction of a second before the arm cannons went off and blasted a crater a meter deep into the ground where she was standing only moments before.

They tumbled and rolled, coming to a stop with the rocky ground biting into Adora’s lacerated back. Catra’s enraged face loomed over her. She looked like she wanted to yell at Adora, her expression twisted into a vortex of swirling emotion; concern, anxiety, and fury all finding a home on her features. But then Catras ears twitched, sensing a danger Adora couldn’t, and she pulled them both to their feet.

With her feet under her again, Adora snapped fully out of her stupor. She-Ra may be down for the count, but the fight wasn’t over yet.

With no powers and no weapons, she ran at the nearest bot- who, coincidentally, was also running at her- each damning step bringing her closer to probable death. As an afterthought, she realized that if this didn’t kill her, Catra definitely would for being so stupid, but that was of little concequenc at the present. The wind whipped at her face, her hair, her clothes, as she sprinted. 

The bot raised its arm cannon. The blast rang out. Adora twisted out of the way,  _ barely  _ out of the way. She could feel the scorching heat sear her clothes as she fumbled to the side before getting her balance back. Just as she reached the bot, it slashed at her head with it’s massive mechanical arm, the metal hellbent on burying itself into her flesh.

Adora dove for all she was worth. She slid between the bot’s legs feet first, spinning and swinging her legs around, using the momentum to swipe its legs out from under it.

The bot fell hard. Not wasting a moment of precious time, Adora quickly scrambled to her feet and climbed up its back even as it started to rise. She punched at a panel on the back of its head again and again, her knuckles screaming in agony as the skin tore and the tissues swelled.

At last it shattered and Adora shoved her hand into the gap and snagged a handful of wiring and circuitry. She ripped it out with a grunt and the bot slumped to the ground.

Breathing hard, Adora scanned the clearing for her next victim, but she saw none. Her eyes landed on Catra who was tearing apart the last remaining bot. Bow and Glimmer were securing the clones. The fight was over.

Adora slid off the back of the bot, wincing at the sharp pain in her side. She walked over to Bow and Glimmer, a triumphant grin on her face.

“This is going to sound controversial, but I think that went really well,” Adora stated, not a hint of irony in her voice. Bow looked up from the knot he was tying.

“Went…  _ well?”  _ Bow asked in disbelief. “Are you serious?”

“We completed all our objectives didn’t we?” Adora challenged.

Glimmer deadpanned, hands on her hips. Then in a chiding voice, “Adora, you almost  _ died. _ If Catra hadn’t tackled you out of the way you would  _ literally  _ be a pile of ash right now.” The hard lines on Glimmer’s brow softened, and her voice did too. “What happened with She-Ra anyway? I thought you figured it out?”

Adora opened her mouth to respond, object,  _ something _ , but then she caught a glimpse of Catra stomping towards her. She was upset. Actually, that was the understatement of the year. Her frustration, anger, worry; Adora could feel it dampen the air, weighing it down with the sheer mass of it all.

“I’m… gonna let you handle this one,” Glimmer said, biting at her thumb nail as she watched Catra’s approach. “But when she’s done chewing you out, I’m next.” With that, Glimmer grabbed the clones and teleported to the other side of the clearing, nearly out of sight. Adora looked to Bow, who scratched the back of his neck nervously.

“Yeah… I need to call in a transport so… Sorry, Adora!” He concluded as he bolted after Glimmer.  _ Some friends,  _ Adora thought. She blew out a breath, preparing herself.

Adora cleared her throat, “Hey Catra, thanks for-”

“Are you hurt?” Catra interrupted. Not waiting for an answer, she started checking Adora over for injuries, pulling at her clothes and feeling along her body for any burns, bruises, or cuts. Adora snatched Catra’s hands away, holding her wrists firmly at bay.

“I’m  _ fine. _ Really, I am.”

Catra stared at her unconvinced, before her eyes caught sight of Adora’s hand. 

“What did you  _ do _ ?” Catra gasped. Adora followed her line of vision.  _ Oh. _ Her hand was messed up. Disgusting, really. Her knuckles were already swollen black and blue, tinged with red where the skin tore and blood was seeping out.  _ Where did that… Oh yeah, I punched a bot _ . After staring at the gruesome mass of swelling before her, Adora came to her senses and jerked it out of sight, hiding it behind her back. No one needed to see that, least of all Catra.

“It's nothing,” Adora assured her, placing her good hand on Catra’s shoulder and giving it a reaffirming squeeze. Nothing She-Ra couldn’t fix. But first, she had to fix She-Ra and she wasn’t really sure how to do that because she didn’t know why she was broken in the first place.

“Adora, let me see it,” Catra commanded. The intensity of her gaze was not lost on Adora, but there was no way she was going to let Catra fuss over something as insignificant as… bruised fingers? A broken hand? Either way, it wasn’t worth losing sleep over.

“Catra, really-”

“ _ Please _ .” Catra’s voice was soft and pleading, all the negative emotion from before gone, lost to the wind. Her intense gaze was replaced by a tender one. She held out her hand no longer demanding but  _ asking _ . Asking Adora to let her help her, confide in her,  _ trust  _ her. Adora’s heart filled with warmth at the action, threatening to spill over in the form of tears.

Slowly she placed her bloodied hand in Catra’s, stifling a hiss of pain. Catra inspected it thoroughly, her touch light and gentle. If it didn’t hurt so much, it would’ve been comforting.

“Please tell me what’s going on,” Catra entreated, meeting Adora’s eyes. Adora looked away and pursed her lips, mentally running through her possible courses of action. 

Adora had one of two options. Or, three actually. She could continue the narrative of ‘everything is fine, everything is great, nothing happened, I’m unharmed except for my hand which you already conveniently know about’, but Catra wouldn’t take that lying down for a second and would definitely find out about her injuries not healing sooner rather than later. Catra would not hesitate to rip off her shirt right here and now to find out. Not a good option. Her second choice would be to tell her about the injuries, the not-healing, the She-Ra problems; all of it. Also not a good choice. Her third and final option was to just blame it on a bad night’s sleep, which was at least half true and probably actually affecting her. Bingo.

“I didn’t sleep well last night. Or the night before that… Or the week before that,” Adora confessed. Seems like she’d been doing a lot of that recently. She hoped it wasn’t going to become a trend.

Catra let go of Adora’s hand, sighing as she rubbed her temple, “You haven’t been sleeping for over a week? Why didn’t you say anything? Why didn’t you tell me? I could’ve  _ helped _ .” She closed her eyes and shook her head in frustration. Adora swiped a thumb over her chin, both as a gesture of reassurance and to grab her attention.

“I didn’t want to worry you. Besides, there was nothing you could have done about it.”

“That’s- ugh- that’s not the point!” Catra threw her hands into the air, all those negative emotions finding their way back to her. “I can’t believe you wanted  _ me  _ to sit out for feeling a little hot when  _ you  _ can’t even summon She-Ra! You could have been hurt. You  _ were  _ hurt!” Adora took a few steps away, a physical manifestation of how taken aback she was at Catra’s outburst.

“Why are you so upset? I received worse injuries training in the Horde. I’m fine.”

“Stop saying that! You’re not!” Catra’s hackles were raised, her ears flat against her head as she advanced on Adora.

“I’m still here aren’t I?”

“Yeah, because I saved you! What happens when I’m not here next time to pull you from death’s doorstep? All you  _ do  _ is throw yourself in harm’s way, constantly charging into danger headfirst, hellbent on becoming a martyr!” All Adora could do was blink at her. Her words were like a slap to the face.

Catra backed down, rage ebbing away. After all the shouting it was hard to hear what she whispered next, “I- I can’t lose you. Not again.” Her voice was muted and broken. She turned away from Adora and clutched at her elbows. It tore at Adora’s heart to see Catra like this. Pulled at her heartstrings until they snapped. And it was  _ her  _ fault. She vowed to fix this.

She laid her good hand on Catra’s burning shoulder. Catra jumped at the contact before leaning into it. Adora took this as a good sign and pulled her into a rather awkward one armed hug. Catra sunk into it, wrapping her arms around Adora’s waist, her hands sliding up to grip at the fabric of Adora’s jacket along her spine. She silently pleaded to the stars that Catra couldn't feel the raised skin over her right shoulder blade.

Catra then nuzzled into her neck, her nose settling under the curve of Adora’s jaw, breathing in her scent. Adora shuddered at the pleasant touch and ran a hand through Catra’s hair.

“You’re not going to lose me,” Adora finally said.

Catra looked up at her, “Promise?” The true vulnerability presented in that one word made Adora’s heart clench painfully once again.

“I promise,” Adora said, hugging her tighter. Was that a promise she could make? Was that a promise she could  _ keep _ ? Maybe not, but if that’s what Catra needed to hear, she would say it a hundred times, a thousand times, a million times. If that’s what Catra needed to hear, then she would speak it into existence. Whatever sickness that was plaguing her, Adora would figure it out and fix it.  _ The world needs She-Ra and Catra needs… me _ . She wasn’t going to let anyone down. Not again. Never again.


	3. you always get the answers you're looking for

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything goes great until it doesn't.
> 
> Adora can't sit still.  
> The crew goes camping.  
> Melog and Catra have an awkward chat.  
> Catra and Adora finally finish what they started in the Bright Moon kitchens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this chapter gets a little... explicit. And by that I mean there's sex. You have been warned.... or rewarded?
> 
> In the words of the great Rihanna, it goes from 0 to 60 in 3.5
> 
> As usual, thank you for your continued support of the story!
> 
> p.s. Anyone know what's happening to Catra? I mean I know what's happening but I'd love to hear your theories

“I can still fight!” Adora shouted.

“No,” Glimmer said, exasperated. “For the last time, no.” She flopped back in the chair, exhausted. There were dark rings under her eyes, a clear sign of her fatigue and developing insanity. Catra bit the inside of her cheek nervously. For three days, it had been the same narrative; Adora refusing to relax and heal while her, Glimmer, and Bow spent every waking minute trying to make her.

Adora had acted reasonably at first. Catra was able to convince her to see the Bright Moon healer. Granted, she would only go if Catra also agreed to see him because Adora thought she was sick, but Catra quickly conceded. The healer concluded that Catra did indeed have a fever, but no other symptoms of sickness were present, which he noted was odd. But more pressingly, Adora’s hand was fractured, and she wasn’t taking the news well.

Multiple times Adora tried to sneak off and join Mermista and Frosta’s search party, either by climbing out the window, trying to convince Melog to cloak her in her escape, or just blatantly making a break for it through the hallways. She never got very far, but that didn’t deter her one bit. And so, the three of them- Catra, Bow, and Glimmer- had to take shifts watching her. Catra didn’t mind. After all, it was what her and Adora did; they took care of eachother. However, Bow and Glimmer were at their wit’s end.

“It's just a bruise,” Adora bemoaned. “Look.” She started to peel away the layers of wrapping around her hand. Catra jumped in to stop her, but Glimmer was quicker. She teleported over to Adora and ripped Adora’s hands apart a bit too roughly for Catra’s taste.

“What on Etheria is wrong with you? Stop that!” Glimmer yelled.

“There’s nothing wrong with  _ me. _ You’re the one who's keeping me locked in my room like a prisoner!”

“Because you keep trying to run away!”

“I wouldn’t have to run away if I weren’t locked up.”

“We wouldn’t have to lock you-”

“Sparkles,” Catra cut in, “I think I can take it from here.” Their bickering had become a common occurrence over the past few days, their arguments running around in circles until they both forgot what it was they were initially fighting about. Originally, it had been funny, watching the two of them tire eachother out with their endless disputes, but now it was like a plague upon Bright Moon. It was draining for anyone who had to listen to it and even scared some people off. That’s why Mermista and Frosta decided to form a search party. They had to get out of the castle.

Glimmer nodded, and staggered towards the door, too tired to teleport a second time, “Good luck. She has been an absolute  _ nightmare _ .”

The corner of Catra’s lips quirked up, remembering when Glimmer used that word to describe her way back when her and Bow attempted what appeared to be their first hostage case. She remembers it almost fondly, the way she antagonized them with her maddening antics; making them drag her for miles, throwing Bow off a cliff. How long ago was that? Two years? Three? Regardless, it was one of the few memories from her time against the Rebellion and Adora that didn’t make her sick with regret.

As Glimmer slammed the door closed, Catra turned her attention back on Adora but didn’t meet her eye. It was strange, the way they acted around each other now. After their little tussle in the Whispering Woods, Adora had pulled away from everybody, from her. Adora didn’t sleep much (let alone with Catra), they didn’t talk except for a few exchanges, and Adora didn’t let anyone touch her. Not even Catra.  _ Especially  _ Catra. Occasionally Adora would let Glimmer and Bow close, but that was all.

It cut her deeper than she cared to admit. She missed Adora’s touch, the way those battle worn hands caressed her thighs, the way her fingers stroked her hair, the way her knuckles brushed against her cheek. She missed the steady beat of Adora’s heart when they slept, proof that she was here, that Adora was hers. Now that it was gone, Catra couldn’t sleep a lick. For over a week, she had Adora with her all the time, attached at the hip. Now they barely spoke. The distance was infuriating. Catra felt unhinged. She was losing her mind. 

The feeling was all too familiar, a resounding parallel to how she felt in the Horde following Adora’s abandonment. All those intrusive thoughts and fears she had started rushing back, tearing at her mind, desperately searching for a foothold. The fear that she was unwanted by Adora, the fear that she would always have to chase the things she yearned for. Always stuck wondering whether she was truly wanted or whether she’s just been settled for. That maybe she forced this on Adora, that she only chose her because Adora felt like it was her job to please other people, to please her.  _ I love you.  _ They had said those three words to each other back in the Heart of Etheria:  _ I love you. _ But did that really mean anything? Adora was dying and people say all kinds of things when they’re breathing their last.

Adora cleared her throat loudly, purposefully. It snapped Catra out of her thoughts, who was still standing by the door, leaning back against it with her arms crossed. Adora was sitting on her bed, nervously fiddling with her bandaged arm.  _ This is so awkward, _ Catra thought before walking over to the bed.  _ It shouldn’t be this awkward. _ She sat down next to Adora on the bed,  _ their  _ bed, a few feet away. It was such a simple and insignificant action, but it took all of her self control to maintain her distance. She itched to get closer, her fingers twitching as she fought and killed the urge to reach out to Adora as they sat in absolute silence. A couple minutes passed before Catra determined that the quiet was too much for her.

“Adora you really do need to relax or you're never going to get better.” Catra lifted an arm to touch her, but pulled her hand away just as quick.

Adora almost scoffed, “People need me, Catra. I can’t sit in here and  _ relax _ when there are still threats out there.”

“Etheria is doing fine without you. They were fine for a  _ thousand years _ without you. It won’t fall apart with you being gone for a few days.”

Adora mumbled something under her breath that sounded like ‘you don’t know that’, but Catra let it slide. Instead she just watched as Adora’s leg bounced anxiously, the movement lightly shaking the bed. Normally, Catra would nudge her with her leg or lay a palm on Adora’s knee to calm her, but not this time.

Finally, Adora shifted on the mattress and turned to face her, “I just feel like I should be doing something to help.”

“I know,” Catra said softly, staring into those perfect blue eyes. Of course she knew. It was what Adora was trained for. 

Groomed for.

_ Abused  _ for. 

A roaring anger filled Catra’s lungs. Though Catra had long acknowledged the part she played in all this torment, she couldn't help but think of Shadow Weaver and all she had done to them, setting them both on the dangerous and lonely paths of victim and martyr. She had ruined them both, driving Catra down a road of isolation and hate while it was ingrained in Adora that she would only amount to anything if she became the perfect hero, willing to die for any cause Shadow Weaver saw fit. She hated Shadow Weaver for what she did to them. For poisoning their minds. For not letting them have the time together they so longed for and deserved. For driving them apart. 

She closed her eyes, letting the anger dissipate. Now wasn’t the time to dwell on the past. Now was the time to focus on the present and what she could do right now to make things better. Catra’s head shot up as an idea entered her mind.

“Let's do something,” Catra said eagerly, her eyes lighting up. “Just the two of us. I know it's been hard… sitting in your room, doing nothing… so lets do something.”

Adora raised an eyebrow, “Like what?”

“Like…” Catra trailed off. What could they do? With Adora injured, the vacation would have to be easygoing, the opposite of what Adora probably wanted. They could visit Mystacor. More than once, Bow mentioned how beautiful the beach was, how relaxing the healing pools were. Unfortunately, he also mentioned that Adora hated the experience. And Catra wasn’t too fond of pools at the moment, thanks to Prime. The idea turned sour in her head as quickly as it came. Catra slumped back on the bed.

What was something they could do that didn’t involve water or fighting, but was still stimulating enough for Adora’s ever active mind? Catra needed her alone for a few days to figure out what was happening between them. She didn’t understand any of it, and whether Adora liked it or not, she was going to get answers. She just needed to get her in an environment that wouldn’t immediately shut her down.

Catra snapped her fingers and pushed herself back into a sitting position, the perfect idea in mind, “Camping.” 

Adora let out a small hum as she mulled it over, her brows creased, her good hand fiddling with the bandages on the other. Catra eyed her warily, anxiously awaiting her answer as her hands fidgeted in her lap.

“Okay, yeah. It'd be great to get some fresh air.” The corners of Adora’s mouth quirked up. Adora reached a hand out as if to touch Catra, perhaps lay a gentle hand on her arm like she always did, but it was quickly retracted in favor of scratching the side of her neck. A pool of disappointment settled in Catra’s stomach.

“We should invite Bow and Glimmer. I’m sure they’d love to come,” Adora added abruptly. Catra’s mood spoiled at the suggestion, her shoulders sagging. She had nothing against the two of them. In fact, she dared say they were becoming friends. Just the same, she wanted this time alone with Adora, to work through… whatever this was, and maybe get Adora to tell her what was really going on. Because there was something, something big, that she was hiding. Catra could feel it in her core. But she couldn’t say no to inviting the two of them. It would look bad, like she was being possessive or something.

“Sure,” Catra agreed, forcing a smile.

***

After packing, packing, and more packing, they set out on their little get away adventure, travelling deep into the Whispering Woods to find the perfect spot to set up camp. Bow and Glimmer were all too excited to come with, singing and dancing along the way. Melog forced his way into the arrangement as well, claiming it would be good for Catra. Before too long, dusk was upon them. Needing some time alone, Catra volunteered to retrieve firewood while the others set up the tents, of which there were only two. A fact that slipped neither Catra’s nor Adora’s notice. Catra wasn’t sure whether to be relieved or anxious.

“You know,” Catra began, rather bitterly, “you didn’t have to come with me to get the wood. You can’t even carry any of it.”

‘This is true,’ Melog replied. Nonetheless, he continued to pace alongside her.

“So why are you here?”

Melog rubbed up against Catra’s leg, ‘I feel you are in distress. I wish to give you comfort. Something has changed in the last few days.’

Catra let out a cold laugh, “Yeah, everything’s changed. Adora-”

‘No not with Adora, with you.’ 

Catra stopped walking, “... What are you talking about?”

Melog tilted his head, ‘The other night I saw you marking Adora, an act I have never witnessed you do. Perhaps-’

“What, when?” Catra asked, embarrassed and alarmed. She glanced around the forest, making sure they were alone. Melog sat down, licking his paw and cleaning himself with it.

‘The morning of the Thaymor mission. You and Adora were on the balcony initiating in-’

“Okay, okay,” Catra stopped him, a blush creeping up her neck. She did not need his account of that morning. She remembered all too well the way she dragged her tongue up the column of Adora’s throat, the way Adora shivered and moaned. The way Catra made her shiver and moan. Adora’s sounds of pleasure were music to her ears. The once charming memory was now tainted by the distance between them.

‘You have also been experiencing a fever,’ Melog continued in a nonchalant manner, ‘your scent has changed, and I feel your attraction to Adora has transformed into something more urgent, more desperate.’

Catra turned on Melog, “I am not desperate!”

Unphased, Melog replied, ‘I feel that you are. I can smell it, your scent is stronger and it lingers on Adora. You mark her with it.’

“No!”

Melog squinted at her, confused, ‘You are embarrassed. I cannot see why. It is-’

“I am not!” Catra yelled. She turned on her heel and started stomping back to camp, firewood long forgotten.

‘Are you feeling okay?’ Melog asked, keeping pace. Catra didn’t answer. She didn’t utter a word until the two of them arrived back at camp. While Glimmer and Adora unpacked and unrolled the sleeping bags, Bow was finishing up the second tent. 

Bow looked up as she passed by.

“Uh, Catra? Where’s the firewood?” He asked.

“There wasn’t any,” Catra responded, trying to keep her anger in check. Bow looked surprised, but didn’t press further.

“Oh… well, looks like we’ll be eating cake tonight then!” Bow exclaimed, trying to lighten the mood. “It's the only thing Glimmer packed that doesn’t need to be cooked.”

“What?” Adora exclaimed. She turned on Glimmer. “Glimmer! You spent all that time packing and you didn’t…” Their voices faded from mind as Catra entered her tent. Well, Adora and Catra’s tent. She still wasn’t sure how she felt about that. She sat down on the sleeping mat inside and drew her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around them and burying her head in her arms. She felt Melog wrap himself around her. He nuzzled his head against her side.

Everything was so messed up. Things were supposed to be simpler now that the war was over. Life was supposed to be easier. So why was her life falling apart? Not only was her body going through changes that no one understood, not even her, which was worrisome enough, but now she didn’t even have Adora to help her through it.  _ Is Adora embarrassed of me? Ashamed? Or is the answer something much simpler? _ Maybe Adora realized that she just didn’t want Catra anymore and she couldn’t bring herself to break it to her. Adora and her bleeding heart… she would never be able to confront Catra about it unless Catra made her.

“Catra?” Adora called out softly from the other side of the tent, her voice slightly muffled. “Um, we're eating. Nothing fancy of course, just cake since Glimmer’s packing skills leave much to be desired.”

There was a distant ‘hey!’ from Glimmer as she attempted to defend her bruised ego.

Adora ignored her and continued, “Did you… want to join us?”

Catra hesitated to respond. She had been in this position before, on Mara’s ship. Adora asking her to come spend time with the others, Catra refusing out of fear. Fear that they all hated her, that they would always hate her because of all the suffering she put them through. She wasn’t afraid now, just miserable, and she wanted to be alone with her misery.

“No. I'm not hungry,” Catra rested her head on her arms and muttered. She watched Adora’s silhouette outside the tent as she lingered near the entrance. At the same time she wished for her to leave her alone, she craved nothing more than for Adora to fling open the tent flaps and run to her aid. Some nameless gods out beyond the stars must have heard her prayers, because not a second later, Adora did just that.

“Catra, are you sure?” Adora asked as she walked into the tent. Adora looked around as her eyes adjusted to the dim lighting of the space. When her gaze landed on Catra, she crouched down in front of her a foot away.

“Are- Are you okay?” She asked. Catra wanted to tell her anything but the truth. She opened her mouth to spit out some nasty remark, but Melog sensing her rising distress, nudged her with his head, silently coaxing her to calm down. Catra let out a heavy breath.

“Honestly? No,” she replied in an even tone. She studied Adora’s face for her reaction, an easy task for Catra’s nimble eyes. Probably not so much for Adora in the dark of the tent.

“...What's wrong?” Adora asked carefully. It would have been easier to ask what’s right. That list was much shorter.

Catra scoffed, “Adora, you’ve been avoiding me- and don't even try to deny it. You don't talk to me, you don't touch me.” Catra’s voice became more frantic and splintered as she continued on, “Do… Do you not want me? Is that it? Because we don’t have to keep playing this game. I never wanted you to save me. I never  _ asked  _ for you to save me. If this- If  _ I’m  _ not what you want then just say it and I’ll leave. I can’t- I-” she took in a gulp of air, steadying her voice. “I will not be your burden,” Catra finished with resolve, but there were tears forming in her eyes. She hoped Adora couldn’t see them with her pathetic human eyesight.

Adora collapsed into a sitting position, as if the words had slapped her in the face and knocked her backwards. “Catra…” she trailed off absentmindedly. Adora studied the mat in front of her intently for a moment before shaking her head and surging forward to capture Catra in a crushing hug. It was such a surprise to Catra that she let out a gasp. She could feel Adora’s good hand clutching at the back of her shirt tightly, the other one lightly caressing the back of her head. It felt so good to have those strong arms holding her again.

“You're not a burden,” Adora whispered into her shoulder. “And I do. I do want you. I want you so much. I’m… I’m sorry I’ve made you feel like I didn’t. Like I don’t. I was being stupid… as usual.”

Catra let a small joyful laugh spill from her lips as she pulled Adora close. Finally, she was close. After so long, it felt like a miracle that she could snake her arms around Adora’s waist again. Catra could feel Melog purring happily beside them. Though there was still much they needed to talk about, Catra marked this down as progress. 

“Not stupid,” Catra mumbled, breathing in Adora’s scent. “Just an idiot.” She smelled so good. Her scent was that of sun warmed grass and wood smoke, which was odd since there was no wood. Catra made sure of that.  _ But there’s something missing. _ With a pang of embarrassment and Melog’s earlier sentiment in mind, she realized that it was her own scent. After three days of isolation from one another, she no longer smelled herself on Adora’s clothes, Adora’s skin, and it sent a wave of possessiveness over Catra. She resisted the urge to mark her right then and there, internally smacking herself upside the head for thinking such thoughts.  _ Melog was right. I  _ am  _ desperate. _ Adora pulled away all too soon for Catra’s taste and she suppressed a groan of frustration.

Adora cupped Catra’s jaw, “How can I make it up to you?” Adora stared at Catra with an intensity that rivaled a forest fire. It left Catra breathless.  _ How can I make it up to you? _ Those words echoed in her head and turned her thoughts down some very… suggestive paths. A blush crept up her neck as she fantasized about all the toe curling things she wanted Adora to do to her. Adora and her had never been that intimate with each other. Not once. One side of Catra thought,  _ No time like the present!  _ While the rational side realized that their relationship was on some fairly rocky ground at the moment. Now probably wasn’t the time to shake things up by adding sex into the mix. But then again, she had been craving it for days now and Adora just gave her the perfect opportunity to make it a reality. Catra bit her lip, undecided.

“Well…” Catra began, still weighing her options. Then she shook her head immediately after, killing the idea for good. “Actually, no. There’s nothing for you to make up for.” Adora frowned at her, unconvinced. She smiled sweetly back at Adora, running her thumbs along the crease of Adora’s brow, smoothing out those hard lines of worry. She was more than content with what they had right now. There was no need to change any of it. She could wait.

Though she still felt Adora was hiding something, it mattered little right now. They were on good terms and that was most important. Catra stood up, feeling lighter than she had in days. Melog followed suit, stretched, then left the tent, but not before sending Catra a knowing look. She knew Melog could smell the needy desire that was permeating the room and she felt her cheeks heat up.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Adora asked, scrambling to her feet. “I know there’s gotta be something I can do.”  _ Not something, but someone, _ Catra thought.

“You’re injured,” was Catra’s cryptic answer. She headed towards the exit before her raging hormones could get the better of her. Adora blocked her way.

“What do you…?” Adora started, confused. Catra could almost see the cogs turning in Adora’s head as she tried to put the pieces together. She must have figured it out, because a few seconds later her eyes lit up and her mouth fell open in amused shock. Catra’s cheeks turned a shade darker.

Catching on to Catra’s meaning Adora raised a brow and said slowly, deliberately, “You know, I have  _ two  _ hands.” Adora, like the dork she was, wiggled her eyebrows knowingly. Catra averted her gaze out of embarrassment.

“Please, never make that face again,” she said through a haze of humiliation as she walked towards the tent flaps. A light grip on her arm stopped her. Then she felt the press of Adora’s warm body against her back. The action made her knees weak and it was all she could do to remain standing. Luckily, Adora’s hand was there to catch her, sliding around her hip to rest her palm on Catra’s toned stomach. That hand anchored her, pulling Catra back into the warm front of Adora.

“Let me make it up to you,” Adora whispered into Catra’s ear. Her sensitive ear flicked at the sensation of Adora’s hot breath cascading down her skin.

“Will you let me? Do- Do you want me to?” Adora breathed, her fingers playing with the hem of Catra’s shirt. They danced lightly along the cloth with uncertainty, and Catra wanted to laugh at how quickly Adora’s confidence came and went. One moment she was the definition of courage, confidence, and perfection, and the next she was a stuttering mess who felt like she needed permission to use the bathroom.

“Yes,” Catra said through a smile. How could she say no?

“Then… then show me what you want.” The way Adora’s tone dropped an octave made heat spike in her core and shoot lower. Catra slid her palm over Adora’s, guiding it under her shirt. Adora raked her calloused fingers through her clipped fur, dragging them up her toned stomach, over her ribs, then finally,  _ finally,  _ to her firm breast. Catra let out a small gasp and threw her head back into Adora’s shoulder as Adora ran a couple coarse fingers over her sensitive nipple.

“You’re so warm. So soft,” Adora praised breathlessly, kissing the side of her neck. Heat spread between Catra’s legs, pooling there. She needed more. Of what, she wasn’t sure, but she was more than willing to find out.

Adora experimentally rolled a nipple between her finger and thumb. Catra gasped and tightened her grip on Adora's hand as she instinctively drove her hips back into Adora’s, grinding them against her pelvis. A low moan escaped Adora through clenched teeth. A shiver raced down Catra’s spine at the sound, her fur standing on end. She loved the way Adora’s grasp tightened on her breast when she ground her ass back, the way she could pull sounds from Adora, sounds of pleasure she had never heard before. Catra could feel the slick soak through her underwear.

“Please,” Catra begged. Her other hand shot around to grasp at the back of Adora’s head, fingers tangling in her hair and pulling her closer. Adora planted a kiss on Catra’s clothed shoulder and all she could think was _it's_ _not fair_. Those lips needed to be on her skin, claiming her, marking her, but the stupid clothes were in the way. She wanted to break away from the hold and shred them to pieces, but then Adora’s hand fell, trailing down her taut stomach to the waistband of her pants. Her palm cupped her lower belly, fingers stroking it for a moment before dipping down a couple inches beneath her pants.

Catra’s breath hitched in her throat. The heat between her legs throbbed violently.

“Please what?” Adora asked with forced innocence. Her hand stopped trailing down, instead choosing to hover just inside Catra’s waistband tickling the sensitive skin there. It was too much and not enough all at once. She wanted- no, _needed_ her hand lower. Sinking into her warmth, filling the cup of desire that has sat empty for too long. But Adora refused, those strong fingers so tantalizing _close_ , but not where they needed to be.

Frustration surged through Catra and she tugged on Adora’s hair, claws scraping her scalp, not enough to hurt, but enough to grab her full attention, “Touch me.”

Catra could hear the smile in Adora’s low voice when she said, “Where? Show me where.” 

Catra grasped Adora’s wrist and guided her hand further down. When Adora’s fingertips brushed through her slick, sensitive folds, Catra saw stars and her knees threatened to give out. To add to the effect, Adora ghosted her bandaged hand over Catra’s hard nipples through her shirt as she kissed up her neck.

“Adora!” Catra cried out, her body quaking. She would have been embarrassed by the absolute  _ mess  _ Adora was making of her if she weren’t so lost in her arousal.

“Shh,” Adora chided, her teeth nipping at Catra’s jaw. “Bow and Glimmer might hear us.” She brought her hand up to cover Catra’s mouth. Nothing aggressive, just to prove her point. It only turned Catra on more. Her stomach fluttered at the thought of getting caught, of being seen with Adora in such a disheveled state. Adora’s hands up her shirt, down her pants, ravishing her.  _ Marking me. Claiming me. Making me hers.  _ For as long as she could remember, that was all she wanted. To belong somewhere, to someone. She always dreamed that it would be Adora, but never let it get beyond that- a dream- until recently. Until now.

“In, please,” Catra whimpered. “I- I need you inside me.” She ground her hips into Adora’s palm, desperate for release. She was so close, shamefully close. The tension in her body had been building up for days, ever since Glimmer caught them in the Bright Moon kitchens and they were forced to stop short of what Catra was sure would have been something much like this.

Adora slipped her middle finger further down before sinking it into her wet heat. It curled so deliciously inside her, adding pressure against a particularly tender spot on her front wall that made Catra release a desperate moan into Adora’s hand. Her thighs automatically clamped together, an action that forced Adora’s finger deeper until it sunk in all the way to the knuckle, trapping it there. Catra’s eyes squeezed shut, her teeth grinding together as a gush of wetness spilled forth.

“Catra,” Adora rasped. The sound of her name in Adora’s mouth made Catra canter her hips back, eliciting another groan from Adora. “Catra, mmf- relax. I can’t take care of you if you don’t relax. Spread- spread your legs for me.” Catra couldn’t stop the hungry noise that erupted from her throat as she gave into the demand, loosening the vice-like grip her thighs had on Adora’s hand. Oh, she  _ liked  _ this side of Adora.

With each touch of Adora’s fingers Catra’s skin came alive, crackling like tinder under a lit match. The heat was unbearable, overwhelming her senses in the most delightful ways. It coursed through her body along with a tingling sensation that started in her toes and ran up her form. She was getting close.

Catra rode Adora relentlessly, her hips rocking hard against her hand. She almost lost it when Adora added a second finger. The burn, the stretch was almost enough to send her over the edge. Catra had to bite her own tongue from screaming out Adora’s name as her inner walls clenched and rippled around those long, dexterous fingers. She rolled her hips as Adora sank her fingers in again and again, her palm occasionally running over her clit in a way that made Catra’s vision blurry and her mouth go dry.

Catra threw her head back against Adora’s shoulder, “Adora, I- nnf- I’m… I’m so close.”

Adora brushed her lips against Catra’s cheek. “Good,” she said, before adding a third finger. As Adore drove them in further than ever before and curled into  _ that spot _ , her inner walls clenched down impossibly hard, and the pressure inside her burst like a flooding dam. Catra’s mouth opened in a silent scream as the most intense orgasm of her life washed over her. Her body stiffened and her back arched as she twitched around those perfect fingers buried inside her. Catra knew instantly that after this, her own fingers would never be enough to satisfy her ever again.

Adora’s arm fell to Catra’s waist, folding over her stomach to hold her upright as she rode out her orgasm, spilling over Adora’s fingers. She came down from her high slowly, the aftershocks still making her weakly clench around Adora. Catra’s heart pounded in her ears, and for the first time, she noticed how out of breath she was. After a few moments, she lazily dragged her claws down Adora’s arm before removing her hand from her pants. She shivered as Adora’s fingers slid out of her now oversensitive folds and almost mewled at the loss it created.

“I think I need to sit down before I fall down,” Catra panted, turning to face Adora on shaky legs. Adora gave her one of the brightest smiles she had ever seen. Catra’s heart seized at the sight.

“That good, huh?” she asked. It  _ was  _ that good. The only thing that could have made it better was if Adora had sunk those pearly white teeth into her neck, staking her claim and making it official.

“Don't push it,” Catra said, wrapping her arms around Adora’s neck and tugging her down onto the mat. Adora let out a gasp of surprise as they fell before laughing when Catra pulled her on top of her and kissed her fondly on the cheek. Adora’s elbows were planted on either side of Catra’s head, keeping most of her weight off Catra as she stroked her short mane. Then she pulled away slightly, her features taking on a more serious and concerned quality. 

“Was I gentle enough, though? A few times I was afraid I might have hurt you.”

Catra rolled her eyes, “Only you would worry about that.” She tapped Adora on the nose. “If anything, you were too gentle.” 

“Oh, sorry.” Adora’s face fell. She looked crushed. Catra cupped her face in her hands and regarded her tenderly.

“Don't be sorry, Adora. You were- you were  _ perfect _ . I loved every second of it.” Then her features slipped into something more devious. “But next time,” she purred, “I want you like this.” Catra’s slender hands slid from Adora’s neck down to her ass, pulling Adora’s hips flush against her own. Adora jumped at the contact and visibly gulped.

“In fact, maybe that ‘next time’ can be right now. You took care of me. Now let me return the favor.”

Adora held up a hand, “There’s no need for that. I was more than happy to do it. Besides, after…  _ that  _ I think I’m too exhausted to do anything other than sleep.” Catra could feel the press of Adora’s warm body increase as her arms strained to keep her up and she welcomed the comforting weight, pulling her down as encouragement. She loved Adora’s gentle nature but sometimes, it was infuriating how fragile she treated Catra.

Catra grinned, running her hands up Adora’s broad back.

“You’re such-” Catra began, but then she felt something catch on her fingers. Rough, raised skin under the thin fabric of Adora’s shirt. She dragged her fingertips over the same spot again, just to make sure she hadn’t imagined it. Adora stiffened under her touch, her muscles hardening like iron as she hastily recoiled.

“What- are you- is  _ that… _ ?” Catra stammered, sitting up.

Adora was shaking her head profusely as she climbed off the mat, “It's nothing. Just a scratch I got from… from fighting Prime’s clones.” It was eerily quiet except for the pounding pulse of Adora’s heart that gave her away, though, Adora was never a very good liar to begin with.

“Let me see.” Catra's voice cracked with emotion, but was hard like stone and left no room for argument. Adora must not have gotten the message because she shook her head and backed away even more, staggering to her feet.

“It's not a big deal…” Adora mumbled out, throwing her hands out as if to surrender as Catra advanced on her. A sick feeling took root in the pit of Catra’s stomach, making it churn with nausea. She had some idea of what Adora was hiding, but she needed to know for certain.

“Show me!” Catra demanded, baring her teeth. There was a flicker of fear in Adora’s eyes, just a flicker, and it was gone faster than it came, but immediately Catra regretted her actions. She retreated without delay, closing in on herself trying to make herself less threatening. The anger was nothing but a shield for the pain, and Adora must have known that because her expression morphed into one of sympathy, but Catra couldn’t stop the rush of memories that flooded back into her mind, reminding her of what a horrible person she was. How she commanded that fear for years, how she used it to manipulate and hurt people. 

That same look of fear had been carved into Adora as she was strapped down by Shadow Weaver, minutes away from getting her memory wiped. That same look of fear had been present when she begged for all she was worth for Catra not to open the portal. That same look of fear haunted her face when Catra, half dead and frightfully torn apart by the portal, tried to kill her in that “perfect world”. Tears welled in Catra’s eyes, threatening to spill down her cheeks, but she forcibly wiped them away.

“Please,” Catra’s voice cracked. “Stop treating me like… like  _ this _ . Stop acting like everything is fine, like you’re okay- like you always do! Stop hiding, stop lying, and just tell me the truth!”

Adora’s face shattered into a thousand different emotions, none of them good. She pleaded with her eyes as she hugged her arms around her waist, as if she was begging Catra for her to both leave it alone and for forgiveness at the same time. It broke Catra’s heart, but she couldn’t back down now. Adora had been lying to her for too long at her own expense. She was willing to let it go earlier, but now that she had some inkling of what this secret was, she had to know, for better or worse. The truth needed to come out and it wouldn’t unless Catra demanded it.

Adora opened her mouth, floundering for the words before letting out a shuddering sigh.

“You want to know?” Adora whispered. She searched Catra’s eyes, looking back and forth between them. Catra gave the slightest of nods. Adora grit her teeth and stiffly turned around.

Catra could barely stand to look as the shirt was drawn up, each inch revealing new cuts and bruises. She had been rough housing with her this entire time thinking she was healthy and healed. All this time… Adora let her think she was fine. The rage that had been quiet for so long lying in wait, swelled in Catra’s chest, but it had no direction. She wasn’t sure if she was mad at Adora, or herself, or every other person on this planet.

Catra gasped when a large gash was revealed below Adora’s ribs, tinged in a sickly green hue. No doubt a souvenir from that First One’s beast; Catra had a matching one on her leg, but it had long since healed. That alone was enough cause for concern, but that wasn’t the worst of it.

Adora continued to draw her shirt up and when she saw the lacerated skin, the way it was shredded in four distinct lines, she wanted to hurl. It seemed unfair that no matter how much Catra strived to be better, life would keep taunting her with her failures. Regret washed over her like the long slow waves on a shallow beach. Each wave was icy cold and sent shivers down her spine. How she longed to go back and take a different path, but that was impossible. There was no way back. There was no way to make it right. The remorse would eat at her everyday of her life. 

“Now you know,” Adora breathed. Catra hesitantly approached, her throat closing up and her chest tightening with each impossible step she took. It was almost unbearable to witness the vile manifestation of her cruelty- of Prime’s cruelty- that disfigured the once flawless skin of the one she loved. Oh, how she wished there was a way to erase it, to take it from Adora and give it to herself. She deserved it. Adora did not.

She reached out a hesitant hand, a shaking hand, and touched those gruesome red lines marring the soft skin over Adora’s right shoulder blade. Adora stiffened under the touch before turning around and taking Catra’s trembling hand in her own.

“Hey, it- they don't mean anything to me. It’s not your fault. It wasn’t you. This was Prime,” Adora tried to reassure her, but Catra barely heard the words over the deafening ringing in her ears and the numbness that spread through her body.

“Catra, Adora,” Bow’s uneasy voice called out from the other side of the tent, “We heard shouting… is everything okay?”

_ No _ , Catra wanted to say.  _ Nothing was okay _ .

  
  
  
  
  
  



	4. as the candle's burning low

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The crew visits Mystacor.  
> There is an excessive amount of apologizing, embarrassment, and guilt going around.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's title was inspired by Hailee Steinfeld's Afterlife. What a queen.
> 
> Shout out to the people who comment because you guys feed my ego. I honestly feel like... a famous tiktoker.... its all getting to my head. I think its time to write a memoir. I'm like the next E.L. James or J.K. R*wling... but without all the controversy...
> 
> Seriously, thank you so much to everyone who gives kudos and COMMENTS because that keeps me going. Sometimes I sit down in front of my laptop and think damn.... I'd rather be watching Barbie of Swan Lake.... so thank you for keeping me motivated!
> 
> This chapter ended up being, like, 3,000 words longer than anticipated. That's probably a good thing since classes start this week and I'm not sure if I'll be able to update as regularly.
> 
> Also, I kind of gave this work a face lift.... hope that didn't confuse anyone...

Adora had had more than her fair share of near death experiences- whether it was during her time in the Horde, or leading the Rebellion, or just trying to wake Glimmer up before noon- but somehow, the heart-stopping terror, panic, and dread she felt all those times paled in comparison to how she felt sitting in the Mystacor healing baths trying to remedy her deteriorating body. Although, looking back, last night was a close second.

Immediately after her secret was revealed and her scars were exposed, Adora pleaded with Catra to not tell anyone else, even getting down on her knees like a beggar asking for spare change. Catra’s face had fallen and shattered in a way that made Adora’s heart do the same, as she casted her tortured gaze down upon her. She tore away from Adora and had walked out of the tent without uttering a single word, her watery eyes saying plenty. She told Bow and Glimmer everything in choked whispers, and then they collectively decided to cut camping short and teleport back to Bright Moon. Adora didn't dare complain as they took her straight to the healers. Even as they shed her of her shirt- which was a mortifying ordeal in and of itself- and poked and prodded her with various tools, she never complained, remaining mute and cooperative every step of the way.

Adora had watched the healers’ expressions of curiosity steadily morph into concern as the examination droned on until they abruptly left the room, probably to share the gut wrenching news with her friends that Adora wasn’t healing. Adora’s leg bounced anxiously and she bit her lip hard as her eyes flitted around the empty room, waiting for her friends to burst in with a healthy dose of explosive fury hot on their heels.

However, that’s not what happened. Instead, the door opened and they filed in quietly, an air of worry and disappointment surrounding them. Bow barely looked at her, staring at the floor with his hands clasped in front of him. Glimmer did quite the opposite, her eyes drinking in what Adora could only assume was the repulsive sight of her mangled body. She definitely wasn’t admiring her abs because Glimmer’s face twisted into a horrified grimace. 

Adora had reflexively wrapped her arms around her torso, trying to hide as much of herself as possible. Catra stared unblinking at Adora with her arms loosely folded, her brows knitted together with a kind of nervous fear, and her jaw clenched tight. Catra’s face, Adora thought, was like a knife in the way she pointed it at her. And waited.

They weren’t mad like Adora had expected them to be. Rather, they looked disappointed, which as everybody knows, is worse than them being mad. She wanted them to yell at her, scream, spit in her face. She wanted them angry, they deserved to be angry. But no, they were just sad, upset,  _ disappointed _ . It made Adora squirm. She wasn’t prepared to handle this kind of reaction.

“Well,” one of the healers started as they shuffled around Bow, “unfortunately, there is nothing we can do for you other than offer you a simple salve for the cuts, but this will not stop the… deteriorating condition of your body. We urge you to seek out the sorcerers of Mystacor. We believe the affliction might have… magical roots. And the healing baths there might do some good as well.” And so they applied the salve where they could and then sent her straight back to her room to rest, the very place she had been trying to escape from the past four days. The fact that Glimmer, Bow, and Catra had already made plans to visit Mystacor the next day didn’t ease her nerves either. After all, she would only be trading one prison for another.

A scowl found its way onto Adora’s face as she thought back on last night’s impromptu horror fest, and she waded over to the wall of the healing bath, playing with a loose stone lodged near the top. As much as she wanted to block out all memories from last night, her mind kept circling back to something one of the healers said.  _ Deteriorating _ . It was a nice word. A lot nicer than using the more accurate word:  _ dying _ . Because that’s how Adora felt. Like she was dying. The process was gradual, like taking a leisurely stroll through the woods, but she felt it all the same.

Though she soldiered on and informed anyone who asked that she was relatively okay, the truth was, she felt absolutely lousy. Her limbs were weak and hollow, her fractured hand throbbed with vicious intent, and the gashes on both her side and back burned with every move. And everything  _ ached _ . Once Adora was forced out of hiding- thanks to Catra- and she stopped lying to herself, she realized how much everything actually hurt and it was infuriating. She tried to find her way back to that sweet, sweet denial, that beautiful act of refusal, of rejection, which somehow provided her a way to compartmentalize her pain, but to no avail. It was like trying to squeeze toothpaste back in it’s container; stupid, messy, and practically impossible.

Adora flicked the rock off the wall and glanced back at Glimmer and Bow, who were in the steaming pool with her. They sat on the other side, Glimmer’s head resting on Bow’s chest, napping. A flare of jealousy constricted her lungs. Relaxing seemed so easy for them. Relaxing  _ together  _ seemed so easy for them. Bow and Glimmer; great friends, even better lovers. Adora longed for the time when it would be that easy for her and Catra, though she realized that day might never come. They were, both of them, damaged goods, bent and broken by years of abuse and torture under the thumb of the Horde. 

Perhaps if they had been raised in a loving home with a mother who cared about them, rather than only seeing them as pawns in a war, a means to an end. Perhaps, even, if they had never met in the Horde, things could have been better. At least then they wouldn’t have become arch rivals on opposite sides of the war, spending years causing almost irreversible damage to each other. Perhaps, most of all, if Adora never made it to Etheria in the first place, things would have been the best. Maybe it all would have been avoidable if she had never been brought here by the portal as an infant. Removing herself from the equation from the very beginning would have saved Catra a lot of suffering, because as far as Adora could tell, she was the source. Take away the source, and well, who knows what could have happened.

Adora turned her attention on Catra who was relaxing on a towel a few feet away, splayed out on her stomach sleeping. Adora rested her forearms on the wall, watching her with keen eyes. Catra had donned a bathing suit like the rest of them- despite adamantly refusing to get in the water- and Adora was thrilled because it afforded her an expansive view of her graceful form. Adora’s eyes took their time as they raked down Catra’s body. She watched the steady rise and fall of her bare shoulders before trailing down her back, making note of the dimples near the base of her spine.

Adora rested her chin on her arms, deciding right then and there that Catra was the most beautiful person she had ever seen, inside and out. Sure, Catra had tried to kill her multiple times, even going so far as to destroy Etheria, but Adora couldn’t hold that against her. Stars know that if Adora hadn’t found that sword in the Whispering Woods when she did and been taken from the Horde, she would have been just as ruthless, just as vicious, just as destructive. Maybe even more so. And there was definitely no way she could have abandoned the Horde like Catra did and saved Glimmer in her time of need. Adora’s one track mind would never have allowed it. It was a harrowing idea, but if the roles had been reversed… Adora abandoned that line of thought with a shake of her head.

Adora let out a sigh, mesmerized by the way Catra’s lean muscles fluttered under her skin at the slightest of movements. Catra must have felt her intense gaze because the end of her tail twitched and she shifted. Her head lifted up from where they were buried in her arms and met Adora’s stare with sleepy eyes. Adora bit the inside of her cheek and quickly averted her eyes, heat creeping up her neck.

Was she allowed to look at Catra like that? She felt that they had grown closer, yet somehow farther apart. Adora guessed shared trauma did that to people, and last night, plus that fateful day on Prime’s ship? That was pretty traumatic. 

She felt like they were back in the Horde. They were inseparable again, and yet that… intimacy they had formed over the past few weeks was gone. They were back to playing cat and mouse, touch and go, just like they did as cadets in the Horde.

Bow yawned loudly from the other side of the pool and it drew both Catra and Adora’s attention. Adora resisted the urge to yawn as well. Bow stretched an arm out over the wall of the bath and shot Adora a sleepy smile. Glimmer stirred at his side, her eyes fluttering open.

“So Adora, having fun relaxing yet?” he asked.

“You want my honest answer?” Adora responded, an eyebrow raised.

Bow hesitated and Adora bit back a smile. “Well, I didn’t ask it so you could lie to my face so… yes?”

Adora folded her arms across her chest as best she could with a fractured hand, “Okay, well,  _ honestly,  _ I would rather die than relax.” Bow scratched the back of his neck, a nervous tick Adora had grown accustomed to.

Bow laughed nervously, “Alright, but coming from you Adora… that doesn't mean much.” Adora’s jaw went slack, and she blinked in surprise. She wanted to yell  _ that’s not true!  _ but deep down she knew it was.

Quickly recovering, she replied, “Okay, that's… fair. But I still stand by it.” 

Bow shrugged his shoulders, “Well, maybe you could take a day or two off from trying to die.”

“Yeah,” Glimmer added, rubbing the drowsiness from her eyes, “I think the longest you’ve made it is like, a week since we’ve met you. It was probably worse in the Horde. I bet you all the pink-frosted cake in Bright Moon that you nearly died almost-”

“Okay!” Catra cut in, clearly agitated. Suddenly, she was at the wall by Adora’s shoulder, gripping the rough stone tightly, her claws digging in and leaving gouges. “Can we stop talking about Adora dying?” There was a strained quality to her words.

Everyone went quiet. The hot bubbling water was the only one who dared make a sound. Glimmer looked down in shame, staring at her reflection in the pool, silently cursing herself for being so insensitive. Adora looked up at Catra and saw her arms quivering slightly from the amount of force she was putting into gripping the wall. A muscle in Catra’s jaw twitched, and Adora could only assume that she was biting back a swelling rage stoked by panic. She wanted so badly to lay a soothing hand on her, but she wasn’t entirely sure that it was the right call. It might only make things worse.

“Sorry, Catra,” Bow said faintly. Catra gave the slightest of nods, an acceptance of his apology, and backed away from the pool, her eyes downcast. Adora glanced between the three of them. Bow was the only one who would meet her eye. He mouthed a sorry at her. Adora brushed him off, gesturing that it was no big deal. At least, to  _ her  _ it wasn’t. But Catra… 

Adora cleared her throat. “Now that it's awkward, I think I'm going to go get something to eat,” Adora said, trying to ease the noticeable tension in the air. 

When no one made a move to stop her, she lifted herself out of the bath, her arms straining with the effort. Adora braced her hands on the wall. She could feel her limbs shaking as she pulled one long leg out, her fractured hand throbbing violently from the pressure she was exerting on it. She could hear Bow and Glimmer rushing through the water to her side, but Catra got there first, pulling an arm around her shoulder and helping her out the rest of the way. 

“Catra, you don’t have to- I’m wet.” Adora said in a hushed whisper. She knew how Catra felt about water. Before Prime, she clearly hated it, but after… well, something terrible must have happened, because now she couldn’t even take a bath without having a panic attack. At some point, she needed to ask Catra about that.

“You’re also injured,” Catra said through clenched teeth. “I think that takes precedence.” As soon as Adora was clear of the pool, Catra retreated and immediately began to frantically dry herself off. Adora watched her guiltily for a moment before doing the same, although much slower. Who knew everyday tasks could become so difficult with only one good hand and a body that was becoming maddeningly more atrophied by the day?

Adora caught a glimpse of Catra who was standing a few feet away, now fully dressed and patiently waiting. Adora could feel her stare, and goosebumps raised on the back of her neck. She wasn’t sure if Catra was admiring her toned body or scrutinizing the damage done to it. Either way, it made Adora’s ears burn and she quickly grabbed her shirt, wincing as the action tugged at the scabbed over cut in her side.  _ Damn First Ones. _

She got her good arm through successfully, but her luck ended there. She struggled with the tight cloth as it caught on the bandages of her other arm. Adora glared menacingly at her useless hand, biting down on her tongue hard enough to draw blood.

“Adora, would you like some help?” Catra asked softly, stepping towards her. No, she really didn’t. She wanted to put her own shirt on, she should  _ be able _ to put her own shirt on. Adora was starting to hate the way they all felt sorry for her, the way they didn’t think she could do anything for herself anymore. All they could see was that she was not what she used to be. And she wasn’t. That was the worst part.

“Yes,” Adora mumbled quietly in defeat. “Please.” Catra delicately took the sleeve and shimmied it over the bandaged hand, making sure none of the fingers caught on the fabric. Then she helped slide the shirt over Adora’s head and pulled it down. Her warm hand came to rest on her stomach and Adora’s abdominals rippled under her touch, sending a thrill through Adora’s body. Catra bit her lip before drawing her hand away. Adora swallowed thickly and put on a confident face.

“I’m ready to go when you are,” Adora said.

“Uh, Adora? Aren’t you forgetting something?” Glimmer asked, more than a hint of humor in her voice. Adora looked at her confused, until a swift breeze blew past her and reminded her that she had no pants on.

_ Oh.  _ She peered down to find that she was clad in her bathing suit bottoms and nothing more. Glimmer and Bow snorted, trying to reign in their laughter. Adora scratched her forehead sheepishly and groaned internally.

Catra was trying to hide a smirk herself as she bent down and picked Adora’s pants off the ground.

“Actually Catra, I think I can handle this one,” Adora choked out, flustered. There was no way she was going to let Catra help her put her pants on. That was crossing the line of humiliation that Adora would never come back from.

“Are you sure?” Catra asked, uncertainty lacing each word.

“Yeah,” Adora reassured her, swiping the pants from Catra before she decided to help Adora put them on regardless. Moving as fast as her body would allow, Adora carefully leaned back against the pool side, resting her weight on it as she balanced on one foot, trying to slide the pant leg up one side. After a few tries, victory was hers. Now it was time for the other side. She did the same thing, leaning back against the wall, balancing on one leg. She slipped briefly and almost fell before catching herself on the rock wall. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Catra, Bow, and Glimmer jump. About a minute later and embarrassingly out of breath, Adora stood tall and proud, both shirt and pants exactly where they needed to be.

“There,” Adora said through labored breaths. “See? Told you I could do it.” Catra didn’t respond, her eyes simply regarding the front of Adora’s trousers before trailing up to meet her eyes.

“You forgot to button them.”

Mortified, Adora looked down a second time. She muttered a swear under her breath as she wrangled with the buttons, her fingers fumbling over and over, unable to properly fasten her pants. She let out a frustrated growl.  _ This is so humiliating! I can’t even button my own pants _ .

“Here, let me,” Catra offered. Before Adora could object, Catra’s hands were on hers, nudging them out of the way. Catra’s knuckles brushed against her lower abdomen as she twisted one button through the loop and Adora’s head shot up, looking at anything and everything except Catra. As she fastened the second one and her knuckles pressed more firmly into her stomach, Adora felt her muscles constrict and she held her breath.

“There. Done,” Catra said, her head tilting up to catch the bashful expression written on Adora’s face. A corner of Catra’s lips quirked up and Adora’s mouth went dry. She was close enough to kiss her, merely lean in and kiss her.  _ Can I still do that?  _ Adora thought.  _ Better not to risk it. _

“Great,” Adora responded weakly as she stepped out of the intimate space, “Lets go.”

“Hey, Adora? Don’t forget your session with my father and Castaspella tonight,” Glimmer reminded her.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Adora said, forcing a small smile onto her lips. But of course, that wasn’t true. Not only did she dream of  _ not  _ going to that session, but she also dreamed of sabotaging it; Glimmer mentioned a few years ago that starting a fire in the castle was a surefire way to get out of most situations. Adora seriously considered it. She was not looking forward to more prying hands picking her apart until she was just a collection of gears and pieces that didn’t work quite right.

Her legs were wobbly and uncertain, but she willed them to carry her to the kitchens. The trip was long and mostly quiet except for the few sorcerers who passed them in the halls, nodding their quick hellos and shooting concerned looks over their shoulders after they passed. Ah, yes, by now Adora’s secret must have spread to the four winds and been tossed around carelessly throughout all the kingdoms. Surely the whole of Etheria knew by now that She-Ra was sick. Or rather, Adora was sick and She-Ra was gone. Great.

“Adora, can we talk?” Catra asked as they entered the kitchen. People were asking her a lot of questions today and she was getting tired of answering them- but for Catra she could handle one more. Adora collapsed into one of the stools surrounding the counter, too tired to stand on her legs a second longer. She gave one of the pastry dishes one good, longing stare before turning her full attention on Catra, who was lingering almost out of reach.

“Um, sure,” Adora began, leaning her elbows on the counter, “But first, I- I just want you to know that I’m sorry. I know I should have told you the truth way before you had to find out the hard way- and I also should have apologized for hiding it- and… it doesn’t really matter how much I say it now but- but I am sorry. I’m sorry I lied to you. I mean, it was only once when it could have been a thousand times, but… it- it might as well have been a thousand times. I’m sorry.” The words spilled out of her like an overfilled cup. Things were getting really heavy really fast. On a whim, Adora placed her good hand over Catra’s resting on the countertop. Catra stiffened for a second- and Adora almost burst into another round of apologies- before relaxing into the touch, running her thumb over Adora’s. Catra pursed her lips and she was so quiet, Adora almost missed what she said next.

“Why did you do it, though?” Adora’s brows drew together and she tilted her head, clearly a little baffled.

“You don’t… know? Catra, we were  _ soldiers _ , born and bred. I still am. I was taught to be strong. No amount of time apart from the Horde will ever be enough to… take that from me. To change me.” The words tasted bitter in her mouth, but they were true. “And, anyways, how do you think a conversation like that would go down between us? I saw how you reacted when you saw the … scars.” Catra’s hands balled into fists at the mention. “I never want to see you like that, so torn and… so why would I willingly inflict that upon you? We promised to take care of eachother- I mean, we’ve already hurt each other enough. I thought… I thought this was the best way to take care of you.” 

Catra’s expression softened, the hard lines of her stress abating.

“I get it, but Adora you can’t-” she slipped her hand out from under Adora’s and moved closer, cupping either side of her jaw and tilting her head up to face her. She stroked her cheeks, her claws lightly caressing the skin in a way that made Adora’s eyelids flutter, “- you  _ can’t  _ put your life at risk like that. You matter too much to me. Yeah, I was upset when I saw the… you know. Especially the ones I gave you because of Prime.” Catra’s eyes became distant as she briefly looked away. Adora brushed two fingers down her chin to pull her back and Catra’s eyes refocused.

“Did I want to cut my hands off when I saw that one of my greatest regrets had permanently blemished your skin?” Catra continued. Adora winced at the crude image Catra's words conjured up. "Yeah, of course I did, but I got over it because your life is more important than my hurt feelings. Look, if this is going to work, if- if  _ we’re  _ going to work, we have to be honest with each other. Remember that little talk about communication we had after that awful game of Truth or Dare? Well, it goes both ways.” 

Adora peered up into Catra’s eyes so riddled with tenderness and love. She had never seen this side of Catra, the way she opened herself up and left herself raw. The Horde thoroughly discouraged such vulnerability, seeing it as weakness, a risk they couldn’t afford. But as Catra spoke, all Adora saw was strength. Her chest tightened with admiration.

“You’re right,” Adora said breathlessly. “I'm sorry.”

Catra chuckled, “I don’t want your apology. You’re already forgiven. What I want…” Her eyes flickered away from Adora’s for a moment, as if she was feeling suddenly uncomfortable with the unrestrained intensity of her request. “What I  _ need  _ is for you to promise me something.”

“Anything. On my life.” Adora slid her palm over one of Catra’s own, lacing their fingers together over her cheek, as if trying to physically convince Catra of her sincerity. A frown found purchase on Adora’s face when Catra shook her head.

“No,” she said. “On  _ mine _ .”

Those three words sent a chilling shock down Adora’s spine and made her heart race in much the same way as it would during the heat of battle. Her hand fell from Catra’s. She was a lot less comfortable gambling with Catra’s life, but… with those beautiful ardent eyes boring into her own, how could she say no? Adora swallowed hard and nodded her head, unable to speak.

Catra exhaled shakily. Adora could feel the warmth of her breath against her lips. 

“Promise me- promise me you'll tell me everything. No more secrets.”

“Well… what constitutes a secret?”

“ _ Adora.” _ Catra chided. Her tone was sharp, like a knife demanding obedience. Adora sank back in the chair, defeated.

“Fine, fine. Of course. No more secrets.” It wasn’t like there were anymore left to keep anyways.

***

Time dissolved into itself, as shapeless as the rain, while Adora waited anxiously for the sorcerers. Adora sat on the windowsill in the guest room she had been given for the duration of her stay in Mystacor, her leg bouncing vigorously. She played with the collar of her shirt, the worn, familiar fabric a small comfort.

She had tried to find some excuse to delay the appointment, but her mind was too weary from the day’s activities to come up with anything viable and Catra never let her out of her sight, so escape wasn’t really an option either. Not that she could’ve escaped anyway with her body being as weak as it was. And so, she was resigned to her fate, this seemingly inevitable commitment of discomfort she was apparently destined to endure. She didn’t care so much about the actual procedure. Adora was certain it would be uncomfortable, but that’s now what worried her. What worried her was that there was a solid chance- a really solid chance- that nothing good would come of this, that she couldn’t be… cured, or whatever, and Adora feared for her friends’ emotional wellbeing if that came to fruition. It’s not that she thought ill of Micah’s or Castaspella’s abilities- they were some of the most revered sorcerers in Etheria- but She-Ra was not of this planet. Though it shared many similarities with the princesses’ magic, both She-Ra and Adora were foreigners and little was still known about either of their origins.

Catra nudged Adora with her thigh and rested her foot lightly atop Adora’s to get her to stop bouncing her leg.

“Thanks,” Adora muttered absentmindedly. She wiped her clammy hands on her pants before nearly jumping out of her skin when there was a brisk knock at the door.

“Adora, are you in there?” Glimmer called from the other side of the door. “My father and Aunt Castaspella are here.” Without waiting for an answer, Glimmer pushed the doors open.  _ Well, at least she knocked first. And didn’t just teleport in. _ All in all, a slight improvement.

“See? I told you she’d be here,” Glimmer said triumphantly to Bow, patting him on the stomach. Adora’s own stomach lurched at the sight of the four of them- Bow, Glimmer, Castaspella, and Micah- closing the doors behind them and making their way over to where Adora and Catra sat.

Adora felt the compulsory need to say something, anything.

“I’m not here, actually, this is a projection from… Plumeria… I moved there recently.” The stupidly blatant lie fell from her lips before she could think twice about it. Out of the corner of her eye, Adora saw Catra pinch the bridge of her nose, shaking her head slightly. Bow and Glimmer gave her weird looks. Castaspella and Micah shared a momentary glance of confusion before he cleared his throat and clapped his hands together.

“I see you’ve still got your wits about you, Adora. Humor is good. It means you still have fight in you.” Micah gave her a bright smile and motioned for her to come over to the bed. “Lie down here if you will, and remove your shirt.”

“S-sure,” Adora said, but she didn’t move. Adora had never been claustrophobic before, but in that moment, she felt the panic rise in her chest. Her lungs constricted and she felt as if she couldn’t breathe, like all the oxygen was being taken up by the other people in the room, despite there only being a handful of them. Her leg started bouncing again.

Catra must have sensed her growing agitation, because she leaned in and whispered, “Are you okay?” Her hand settled on Adora’s thigh and the weight was comforting enough to allow her to choke out a few strained words.

“Too many… people.” She saw Catra nod, and in a haze, watched her herd out Bow and Glimmer, much to their chagrin. Micah, who seemed to catch on, turned to Castaspella.

“Sister, I do believe I can perform the necessary spells on my own. If you would?” He said as he gestured towards the door. Castaspella hesitated, but then nodded and headed towards the exit.

“Very well,” she said. “I’ll be right out in the hall if you require my assistance.” She spared Adora a glance and gave a small, reassuring smile before taking her leave. When Catra closed the door behind her, Adora felt her chest loosen up.

Taking a few deep breaths, she stood and reached for the back of the shirt’s collar with her good hand and pulled it over her head, albeit with some difficulty. When she finally got her head out, Catra helped shimmy the sleeves off her until she was standing in just her training bra. She felt exposed as both Micah and Catra’s eyes followed her to the bed, but she grit her teeth and made it there without faltering.

She laid back on the bed trying to keep herself from hyperventilating. Catra sat beside her legs, placing the warm heel of her palm on her knee. She gave Catra a weak smile. It was the best she could do.

Micah came over, his hands hovering over her prone body, “This procedure is going to be… how shall I put it? Painful. So I’m going to put you to sleep with a spell. Is that alright with you?” Adora felt Catra’s grip tighten on her knee. She glanced down at Catra and saw a restrained fear in her eyes. Adora gave Micah a shallow nod.

“Yes,” she said hoarsely. Micah acknowledged her briefly before his hands started to move in strange ways above her forcing her eyes closed as she fell victim to the cold embrace of slumber.

“Ah, so we meet again,” that cruel, hard voice said.  _ Prime.  _ Adora turned and suddenly, she was in a world unknown. 

Barren terrain of ice and sleet. Land of the benumbed, deceased, and dishonored. In this frozen place, this desolate world of ice, it was as if the sea had frozen mid-wave, curling upward into the brilliant rays, still rippled from the wind. Adora stood there wide eyed, as she surveyed the horizon. A stark white citadel erupted from the sterile wasteland and towered above her, disappearing into the fog above. The wind howled sharply and tugged at her clothes like the desperate hands of the dying.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Prime asked, sounding almost gleeful. He appeared at her side and laid a surprisingly gentle hand on her shoulder. Adora stiffened under the touch all the same. They had met in her dreams many times now, and he had been anything but gentle towards her. It always ended with either Catra or herself dying by his hand. She choked down the bile rising in her throat at the thought of Catra suffering under his thumb.

“Where are we?” Adora demanded, trying to shrug off his hand. He only tightened his grip and used it to propel her towards the mountainous gates of the citadel.

“This is Veria. A once boisterous planet before I cleansed it. I now call it home.” Prime smiled down at her, though it looked more like a snarl.

“Why are you so happy?” Adora asked, knowing she probably didn’t want to hear the answer.

“Oh, dear Adora. Things are working out better than I ever could have hoped. Without your sword, well…”

“What do you mean?” There was caution in her voice.

The gates opened for them all on their own, the tall structures not even creaking as they folded inward and revealed a bridge curving over a frozen river and leading to the stark white doors of the citadel.

“She-Ra was the only thing to ever come close to stopping me,” His steely voice cut the very air itself. “Now that she’s gone, I have all the time in the world.”

Rage and an uncertain fear overtook Adora as she ripped herself free of his grasp, “Why do you keep talking like you’re still alive? You’re  _ not _ ! You’re just an image my mind conjures up. You’re just another nightmare.” She glared at him, his four uncanny green eyes staring back as his lips curled into a hideous smile. Adora flinched when he took a step closer to her.

“Adora,” a faint voice called out, drifting in on the wind.

“Looks like you are being summoned back,” Prime said, turning his face to the breeze. He neatly folded his hands behind his back. “A shame too. I fear I will not see you for quite some time.” He started to walk off, fading into the heavy fog that surrounded them.

Adora’s eyes narrowed, genuine confusion flooding her mind. “Wait, what-” she tried to follow, but her feet wouldn’t budge. She pulled at them wildly, trying to unstick them from the ground, but nothing worked.

“Wait!” Adora screamed, “What do you mean?” She needed answers. She needed them  _ now _ . The wind picked up and uttered her name once again. The air rushed violently around her, encapsulating her in a blinding fog, but not before Prime got in the last word.

His face half turned over his shoulder. “Goodbye She-Ra,” he said, disappearing for good.

“Adora!” she heard her name again over the rushing of the wind.

Adora’s eyes fluttered open, glassy and unfocused. She felt warmth on her cheek, like someone was cradling her head. As the world came into focus, she remembered where she was.  _ Mystacor. _ She stared up at the light purple ceiling and let out a sigh of relief. Usually, she wasn’t very fond of the brash purple coloring that seemed to seep into everything here, but right now, it was a soothing far cry from the harsh, ashen wasteland she had just visited in her mind.

Catra’s face came into view above her, stricken with worry. “Adora, are you okay?” she asked, running her thumb along Adora’s cheekbone. 

Adora blinked at her, “Am I healed?” She tried to sit up rapidly, but she gasped when her side exploded with pain.  _ That’s a definite no. _

“Careful!” Catra warned, easing her back down to the floor with Micah’s help.  _ Wait, the floor? _ Adora groaned.

“What happened? Why am I on the floor?” she asked, rubbing her eyes. Now that her senses were coming back, the cool crystal biting into her lacerations was becoming increasingly uncomfortable.

“After you were knocked out, I began the healing procedure as expected,” Micah began, putting his hand on Adora’s shoulder. “I was expecting some pushback, given the severity of the injuries and the fact that She-Ra’s magic is not native to Etheria. But I was not expecting a complete rejection of the process, which is exactly what happened.”

Adora squinted up at him, still adjusting to the light, “So… what does that mean? It still doesn’t explain why I’m on the floor.” Catra and Micah shared a concerned glance, one that did not go unnoticed by Adora.

“What?” she asked.

Micah tucked a lock of hair behind his ear, “Your body… rejected the treatment in full And violently, might I add. You had a rapid succession of severe convulsions. That’s how you ended up on the floor.”  _ Oh _ .

“Oh,” Adora said. It was all she could come up with. Catra drew her lower lip between her teeth, watching Adora intently as the information sank in.

“What does… what does that mean, then?”

Micah looked at her grimly. “It means we can't heal you. Etheria’s magic is just… too foreign. Your body rejects it like nonnative tissue.”

Adora nodded. She was vaguely aware of Catra fighting back tears next to her and Micah staring solemnly at the floor next to her head, but all she could really focus on was Prime. _ What was that thing he said to me? Without my sword- _

“The sword,” Adora mumbled to herself distractedly.

She heard Micah ask  _ what was that? _ But she was too lost in thought to respond.  _ Think, Adora, think!  _ Why did Prime say that? Ever since the sword… ever since the sword shattered, she had been like this, collecting cuts and bruises. Yes, she had healed Catra and even herself a couple of times, but each time was a painful experience, nothing like it had been before. And each time, she remembered feeling hollow and numb. Adora had had her suspicions before, but now the answer was so clear. When she shattered the sword… that must have been when this all started. It had to be. 

Adora rolled to her side and shakily pushed herself up into a sitting position, ignoring Catra’s pleas to be careful.

“We need Entrapta,” Adora said without hesitation.

“For what?” Catra asked, her tearful eyes swarmed with skepticism.

“I think… I think this all has something to do with She-Ra’s sword. When I shattered it. That’s when all this-” Adora gestured to herself, “- started. She might be able to fix it- and me- in the process.”

“Adora…” Micah’s voice trailed off. He laid a gentle hand on her arm. “Wasn’t that sword created by the First One’s to control you?”

Adora’s jaw tightened as her thoughts flashed back to that terrible moment where her mind was her own, but her body belonged to the cause of the First Ones, using her carelessly as a tool for destruction. “Yes, but it's the only lead I’ve got.”

He considered her for a moment rubbing his beard, then nodded his head, “I will send Glimmer and Bow to pick Entrapta up from Beast Island. They should be able to get there and back in record time.” Micah stood up and offered Adora a hand. She took it graciously, and with Catra’s help, they got her to her feet and helped her to the bed. “You two should remain here, get some rest. It shouldn’t take more than a week.” With that, Micah gave Adora one last hopeful smile and left them in peace. She was grateful for that smile. It made her feel like this wasn’t a lost cause. Like maybe, just  _ maybe _ , they could fix this.

“I am so tired,” Adora confessed, her eyes glazed over with sleep. She threw herself back on the bed, not even caring how the action tugged at her wounds in a way that made them burn.

“Careful!” Catra scolded, gingerly sitting next to her on the bed. “You have to be careful.”

“I’m fine. We have a lead now, and everything is going to be just fine,” Adora said, trying to reassure both herself and Catra. She reached for Catra’s wrist and pulled her closer.

“Lay down with me.”

Catra hesitated. “We shouldn’t- I shouldn’t. You’re still… I could hurt you.” Her voice cracked, and she turned away from Adora to hide the tears falling down her face. Adora sat up on her elbow with alarm. She extended her hand and cupped Catra’s jaw, turning her head back to face her.

“Why are you crying?”

A brief laugh made its way through the tears as Catra rolled her eyes and gently put her palm on Adora’s chest to push her back down to the bed, “What did I say about being careful, dummy?”

A sad smile played on Adora’s lips as she let Catra ease her back to the mattress, “Catra, what’s wrong?” Adora stared at the heavy crease in her brow, willing it to go away while she waited for an answer. Catra’s eyes focused on the hand she had placed on Adora’s chest, stroking the soft flawless skin of her collarbone as she worked up the courage to speak. When she did, it came out as a whisper.

“I thought they would be able to heal you. I really believed that they could. But now-” Catra faltered, swallowing her fear as best she could. Adora could feel her hand trembling against her bare skin. “- now we’re just chasing down another lead. I feel like we’re going to be hunting down lead after lead until… until it's  _ too late _ .” The way Catra said it left a bitter taste in Adora’s mouth, but she swallowed it down. Adora placed a hand over Catra’s and gave it a reaffirming squeeze.

“I get it. I’m- I’m scared too. But listen,” Adora said, mustering up as much confidence as possible, “I’m the second toughest person I know. I can handle this.”

A ghost of a smile swept over Catra’s lips, “Who’s the first?”

“I think you know.”

“I still want to hear you say it.”

Adora let out a sigh, “Fine. It's you. Now come lay down with me.” Catra shot her a firm look that clearly meant no. Adora wanted to roll her eyes.

“You’re  _ not  _ going to hurt me. Truthfully…” Adora trailed off, her cheeks starting to heat up as her eyes darted away from Catra’s. “I like the feeling of your weight on top of me. It’s- it calms me.” When her eyes flitted back to Catra’s face, she was expecting smugness, but instead she found a warmth there. Her eyes glinted with tenderness as the corner of her mouth curved into a smile.

“You’re such a sap,” Catra said, her voice no longer tainted with anxiety. Then, to Adora’s delight, she carefully slid her thigh over Adora’s bare abdomen, and she almost moaned at the feeling of skin on skin. She’d forgotten how much she missed cuddling with Catra every night. It had been an exhausting few days keeping her at arm’s length. Adora was glad that was in the past.

When Catra rested her head on Adora’s chest, Adora let out a contented sigh and snaked an arm up Catra’s back, her long fingers splayed out between her shoulder blades.

“I missed you,” Adora breathed.

“I missed you too,” Catra echoed, her finger tracing the corded veins in Adora’s neck.

“Do you remember when we were like, what, sixteen? And we were laying in my bed talking?”

Catra made a grunting noise that sounded like amusement. “Could you be any more vague? We spent a lot of nights laying in your bed talking.” Adora chucked. The vibrations sent a pleasant tingling sensation through Catra’s body.

“Right. Specifics. Well, we were laying on my bed opposite each other, your feet tangled with mine. You never wore any shoes back then either and you didn't wash your feet, so I'll admit I was a little disgusted-”

Catra flicked Adora on the ear which earned her another laugh.

“Anyways, we were talking- whispering, actually- and you asked me if I ever felt like there was a dragon rolling around in my stomach. Because- because that's how you felt when you were close to me.”

“Yeah, I remember. You used my confession to mess with me.” Catra lifted her head off Adora’s chest to look at her pointedly.

Adora’s mouth fell open, “I did not!”

“Fine. Then what did you say next?”

“I said that I should stay away from you then, because, you know, I made you feel like you had a dragon in your stomach.”

“Uh huh.”

Adora shot her a mischievous look, “And then I remember you, down on your knees, begging me not to go, your arm reaching out for me in the dark, clasping around my wrist-”

“That's definitely not how it went down, but okay.”

“- then we sorta just… laid down together and I told you that I felt the same way. You know, when we were close.”

A flush crept up Catra’s face, “As much as I love hearing your interpretation of our shared memories, I still have to ask if there's a point to this or if it's just another one of your sleepy ramblings.”

“My point is,” Adora said, capturing Catra’s gaze, “that's the moment I knew.”

Catra raised an eyebrow. “Knew… ?” she further inquired, shifting up until she was hovering above Adora, their noses almost touching, their breaths mingling together. The words caught in Adora’s throat for a moment, struck mute by the absolute beauty on top of her.

“That I loved you.” Adora whispered it like it was a promise, the words drifting over Catra’s lips with the utmost care.

A powerful mix of emotions welled up inside Catra, and she once felt tears welling in her eyes. This time though, it wasn’t out of fear or grief. She cupped the sides of Adora’s neck and stroked her thumbs over her lips before bending down to kiss her. Adora inhaled sharply and Catra couldn’t help but smile. The kiss was slow, gentle, and comforting in a way that words couldn’t be at the moment. When they pulled away, Catra rested her forehead against Adora’s to catch her breath. Though the kiss was chaste and innocent, it still left them both breathless.

“Turn around,” Catra said, climbing off Adora and kneeling patiently beside her.

Adora gave her a weird look. “... Why?” She asked hesitantly. Adora was used to Catra ordering her around, but… 

“Just do it. You’ll see.” Adora peered up at her intently with narrowed eyes, searching Catra’s expression for an answer. When she didn’t get one, she cautiously turned over in the bed, feeling a bit exposed in only a pair of pants and her training bra. She buried the side of her face in the pillow and was about to ask  _ now what? _ That is, until her voice abandoned her once again as she felt a warm body press against her back. Catra was careful not to jostle Adora’s side as she hooked a leg over her torso and arched her front into the broad planes of Adora’s back. Catra rested her chin on Adora’s shoulder, grazing her lips against the back of her neck. Adora shivered delightfully under Catra’s touch.

“Is this okay?” Catra asked, placing kisses along Adora’s shoulder. She gingerly traced in between the raw lines of healing tissue over Adora’s shoulder blade.

Adora hummed, “More than okay.” She felt the tension in her body dissolve under the tender hold of Catra. Her body sank into the too-plush mattress, but she couldn’t even bring herself to care. A peaceful silence settled over them. Adora wanted to say something, if not to thank Catra, then to at least break the intensely painful intimacy of the moment, but then she heard- no,  _ felt- _ Catra begin to purr and Adora was thrown back in time.

Adora remembered so vividly the first time Catra purred for her. It was after a training simulation where they were paired up and sent to kill princesses in the Whispering Woods. Adora had been paired with Kyle, much to her dismay. Not that she hated him or anything he was just… well,  _ Kyle _ . Which meant the training exercise would be a one woman show, consisting of her fighting for her life while Kyle hid in the corner. Adora didn’t complain about the selection, though. It gave her a great opportunity to showcase her skills. She was, after all, favored to be force captain.

Adora felt pretty good about the whole situation until about halfway into the exercise when Kyle decided to bolt, yelling about how sorry he was as he took shelter…  _ somewhere _ . Adora didn’t have time to make note of where exactly as she was overrun by bots posing as princesses.

The injuries she sustained from the simulation hurt, and they hurt  _ bad,  _ but it was nothing compared to the dread that weighed down her stomach as she tallied her first loss. Fourteen years of a perfect record. Gone. She could almost hear Shadow Weaver clicking her tongue in disappointment as she made her way back to the barracks, trying to hide her limp. She remembered the feeling of relief at seeing the barracks empty as she slumped down into her mattress face first and choked back tears.  _ There is no place for weakness in the Horde _ , Shadow Weaver’s words echoed in her mind.

“Hey, Adora,” A familiar voice sounded to her left. Adora swung her head around. Her best friend was leaning against the doorway, arms crossed with her hip jutting out. Her wild hair framed her face like a halo. She had a wild smirk plastered on her face.

“Hey, Catra,” she half mumbled into her pillow. Adora really hoped Catra wasn’t here to rub her loss in her face because she was in no mood for that. She hissed as she turned on her side, bruised ribs rubbing painfully up against the concrete-like mattress. It was practically the only time she wished for a softer, plushier bed. Catra’s face fell. Her smirk vanished and was replaced by poorly concealed concern.

“What are you doing here Catra?” Adora asked. Catra ignored her question and came to crouch in front of her prone figure.

“Kyle told me what happened,” she said, resting her elbows on her knees as she skimmed her eyes across Adora’s body. Adora was too tired to feel embarrassed by it.

“He told you how I got my butt whooped? How nice,” Adora spat with uncharacteristic malice. Catra's ear flickered, but was otherwise unphased. Or if she was, she didn’t show it.

“Yeah… he said you got hurt pretty bad.”

“It's nothing,” was Adora’s automatic response. Catra blinked at her, clearly not convinced. Adora had always been a bad liar, but she was even worse around Catra. They knew each other too well.

“Oh, yeah?” That signature smirk of Catra’s found its way back to her, lighting up her face in a way that had made Adora’s heart clench.

“Y-Yeah,” she stuttered out, fighting that heat that started crawling up her neck.

“Then you won't mind if I do this.” Before Adora could figure out what Catra’s intentions were, she had already reached over and poked Adora in the ribs, causing the pain there to flare up in protest. 

“Ow! Hey!” Adora swatted her hand away, clutching at her side.

“That's what I thought,” Catra said, a defiantly smug look on her face. Then her features melted into something softer and she climbed into the bed, molding herself to Adora’s back. She was gentle and considerate, qualities Adora had never really witnessed in Catra before. It had been new territory at the time, and she wasn’t quite sure how to navigate it.

“C-Catra, what are you doing?” Adora asked, her voice barely audible. She tried to turn around to face her, but Catra wrapped an arm around her and held her in place. That heat in her neck she had tried to fight off before came back with a roaring vengeance, flushing her cheeks red. The situation was so…  _ intimate _ . Too intimate. Adora didn’t know what to do with her hands, her legs. She wanted to squirm out of the embrace but… as much as it made her anxious, it also felt  _ so good. _ And then Catra started  _ purring _ and Adora melted in her arms.

“What are you doing?” Adora asked again. She felt Catra nuzzle her face against the slope of her neck, the hot breath on her skin giving her goosebumps.

“Trying to make you feel better,” Catra muttered behind her. “Don’t make it weird.”

“What if someone sees?” That was a very real concern. Any and all relations were discouraged in the Horde. Getting caught together like this would surely lose them their month’s rations and for Catra… well, Adora didn’t even want to think about what Shadow Weaver would do to her.

“No one’s going to see,” Catra said, her tone untroubled. She said it with such certainty, it made Adora suspicious.

“... What did you do?”

“Just a bit of light threatening, nothing too serious.”

“ _ Catra _ .”

“ _ Adora _ ,” Catra said back, her tone a mockery of Adora’s own. Adora bit her tongue to keep from scolding her. She really needed to stop making enemies. 

Adora felt Catra shift behind her and sling a strong thigh over her hips, their bodies slotting perfectly together. The rumbling purr emanating from Catra’s chest grew stronger, seeping into Adora’s bones and lulling her into a peaceful slumber.

“Thank you,” Adora half-whispered, her eyes fluttering closed. For a moment, Catra froze behind her and Adora worried that she would pull away, maybe realizing that this was too much and not at all what she wanted- but then she slowly relaxed back into the curve of Adora’s spine.

“Y-yeah, well, this isn’t because I like you,” Catra muttered. It was a phrase Adora knew quite well. She always said it when things were getting too heavy between them and she needed to escape. Adora was sure she didn’t mean it- they’d been best friends since they were children and had been inseparable ever since- but she still couldn’t stop her stomach from twisting painfully into knots every time she said it.

“I can live with that,” Adora had said, not meaning a word of it.

Instead of dwelling on Catra’s words, she sank further into the embrace. A feeling of contentment, of peace washed over her that she had never felt before. She felt whole, if only for the moment. 

It was the same feeling that was spreading through her body now, as Catra laid above her, the melodic thrum of her purr melting away the pain. It was both sad and funny to think they’d once thought of this intimacy as weakness, depending solely on wrestling and shoving and pushing to get their fix of touching each other back in the Horde.  _ If only we had known back then where we would have ended up. _


End file.
